i missed you today

im on this road, im far away
im sitting here, i cannot stay
to many things are on my mind
concentration is to hard to find
i want to live out loud
verbally im crowded

here it goes
i missed you today
the warmth of your smile
the light in your eyes
the truth that out weighs the lies
if i could tell you
if you could hear
youre far away
i missed you today

it wasnt suppose to look like this
what ive been told
ignorance isnt always bliss
its all coming out
its not sweet, its bitter
this silent shout
of telling you

i missed you today
the warmth of your smile
the light in your eyes
the truth that out weighs the lies
if i could tell you
if you could hear
your far away
i missed you today

will it ever be what it looked like before
can it be simple, or a closed door
the old is new
this is heavy not knowing you
a hushed cry deep inside
is silently screaming
what i cannot hide

i missed you today
the warmth of your smile
the light in your eyes
the truth that out weighs the lies
if i could tell you
if you could hear
youre far away
i missed you today

change...

is inevitable. And boy how does it change so fast!!! well, i guess only change is the only thing that is consistent. All I can do is hope :)))

time to see

something is about to change. im not sure what it is, but im sure that it will. it always does. one thing that you can always count on is change. and Jesus. but change will always happen. my life is always changing whether it is suttle or drastic. it always happens. no matter how much i try to hang on to the old, new is always birthed. and sometimes because i am holding on to the old i cant see the new, i cant see how good it is for me. sometimes we are blind to what is really going on. to what is really happening before our eyes, and although we see it, we really dont "see" it. so what does it take to see it. what does it take in life for our eyes to open? what is it in life that makes us see with our hearts. is it a glimpse into the future. is it a silent stare in the eyes of a strange that you connect with but you have never met. is it a small touch of a person that loves you, but you really felt it in that touch. is it in a letter that is written in your heart that no one knows about, but you think of it often. is it in a one-liner of a person you have heard speak at a random event. is it in a friend or a person that is dying before you. is it in a reationship that opens every part of your heart that you didnt even know exsisted. what is it? what makes us come alive? is it the small things in life. is it the big things? what is it? what makes you see from the eyes of your heart? what is this thing that every person in life is looking for..... well i cant answer all those questions. but what i can do is tell you of my experience. i know that my life is small, but will make a big difference in every persons life that i come into contact with. the one thing in life that makes me see from the eyes of my heart is love. no matter how much i have been hurt by life, i know that love is the most challenging thing there is, the most invigorating, uplifting, selfless, hurts like hell, feels amazing , life giving thing there is. it will make you come alive, if you let it. this is a choice though. something that requires you to step out of the way and give it room to breathe. something that you have to give all control to. if you dont, you could seem a bit skitsophrenic. this is a choice that is made daily. one day it could be easy, and the next hard as hell. why you ask? well because we are people and we hurt each other, walls are built, and so the choice that day is not to love. it hurts to much, if i love, i get hurt. that is the thought process. so we live our lives walking thru life dead. because we are unwilling to take the bad with the good. love is the only thing that will truly make you alive, that is what we were created for. the very thing in life is to love. we walk around life not letting anyone in, except at arms length. im unwilling to recieve your love, because i am afraid, im letting fear control my heart because i could get hurt. im going to be selfish, and not recieve your love or give any love away. you stay there and i'll stay here. that is as close as we get. i can see you from here, i dont need you to come within reach. im afraid, i could get hurt. but if we dare to take the risk, if we dare to take the leap and love with a capacity that is so large and so deep, it is worth it. the world could change in a moment. this is the answer love... just love, no matter the cost. it is simple and easy. just do it