more often than not

I find myself in this place searching for the more? Last week a good friend randomly asked me what was the purpose of the human existence? immediately I responded, to love. There wasn't even a thought about it, it was so automatic. So after this interaction, it has led me to this place again. what does love look like? what does it look like to the corner homeless guy on hollywood blvd and kingsley? what does it look like to the iranian man who owns the corner market? what does it look like to my friend who is letting me live with her for the time being? what does it look like to my family? what does it look like to the girl who is a dancer for a living? to the man who walks his dog everyday, at the same time, doing the same things day after day? what does it look like? Is it fundamentally the same to everyone? what does it look like to God? have you ever thought about that? to love him? what does that look like? and is it ultimately satisfying? when the world has so much to offer you, does his love weigh out any temptations that may-be before you? This week has been the first week since ive been back in LA where I have had nothing to do, im not working and all my friends are busy. Its been a very low key week. Its left me with lots of thoughts that have been written on my heart that I have tried to erase, good and bad. The silence has been louder than any music in a hollywood night club. At first, it made me uncomfortable, I found myself scrambling to find anything to do, txting everyone I know, on facebook constantly, emailing, anything to get the silence to go away that opened the vortex in my heart and spirit. But after a few days, I started to embrace the uncomfortableness of silence and start to ask the questions, what about this silence is so unappealing? Well, because I have to look in a mirror and ask myself, are you doing what you were created to do, who you were created to be? Are you loving, and loving well? not only others but yourself, and God? Questions, all these questions... at the end of the day all I can do is my very best giving 150%. trust that God will show up and His love will transform me to love others the way they need to be loved in the moment that I am with them. Hopefully, LOVE, the thing i believe humans were created for, what I was created for, in the end, it will change me, and change the world..