Just more

so much change is happening, and I am not sure what to do with it! So, I am still being rocked by God and His goodness, I am finding myself more and more desperate! A friend once said " does desperation have anything to do with destiny?" Now she was talking about a completely different matter, but I think that statement is true in its right form! I am desperate to find Jesus, the more of Jesus which will lead me straight to my destiny. It is not surprising but surprisisng at the same time, how Jesus is showing up in my life. I am feeling the desperation that Heidi talks about in her book "there is always enough". You know Jesus shows up, He is faithful, but each time you come to that place where you feel the peoples desperation, it almost makes you more desperate for Jesus to show up so they arent disappointed! Thier desperation for LIFE, just to live, makes you more desperate for them to find life. feeling the responsibility of the person next to you. Not to save them, b/c in that desperation you know that you have nothing to offer, nothing to give them, but Jesus has it all and all you can do is point them in the right direction and desperately pray that they see Him. God does meet desperation, I am confident in this one thing if nothing else. I have realized in this life, I have nothing to offer, not that I am a loser or anything of that nature, but I really have nothing to offer. Jesus is the only one that offers life. All I can do, all my responsibility is to let the people know. Just to love and be obedient. I love Jesus, the more I know I have nothing to give, the more desperate I am for Him in my life. The words I need Him have a new meaning to them, I cant explain it. I have never reached a place like this before, I am not even sure exactly how to articulate what I am feeling and it is even more than a feeling, it is being, even that doesnt really justify what it is I feel. I just need Him more and that isnt even enough. I need Him, a new meaning to life. I feel almost as if, I am being reborn again. It is strange but, I like it.

Jesus, I need you more, more than words can say
I need you more
I need to see your face.