no more potentials

I feel full, well that I am getting to that point at least, I am well on my way. Hmmmm. there is nothing like you, there is no one like you. NONE. and instead of filling my heart with hopeless thoughts of potential, I will just leave it for the concrete:) sounds so much better to me.

lets do this

Today is the new day of a new week. Here I am ready whatever you are wanting to do in me Papa. This week is a week of surrender completely. I am giving up the internet. and a few other things... I need you to show up. And if you wanted to give me a new job, someone who wanted to give me headshots for free, that would be great too. Papa, lets do this ;)

BODY

you are perfect. you will be loved just the way you are. you are beautiful in all your flaws. you are loved. you were made to be adorned by all of creation. you are loved. you are the peak of creation made with the utmost beauty in thought. you are loved. when God thought of the word beauty, you are what HE saw. He made every part of your body with simplicity and beauty. every cell that makes you, that makes your skin glowing and radiant, every cell that makes your fingers, toes, hands and feet. you are loved. body, your butt, and breasts, your hair, your arms, your back, your thighs and hips, your knees and calves, you are beautiful, you are LOVED. BODY, you were made to be loved. To be gawked at, you were made to be admired and make the world a more beautiful place.BODY YOU ARE LOVED.

Today

Today. Today I wanted to run away from all the stuff God is touching. Today I wanted to sit in a dark closed room and fall asleep until morning came. Today, Today I wished was tomorrow. Today I had a revelation. Today I had an epiphany. Today I was dirty. Today I was cleaned. Today I was empty. Today I was filled. Today I was hopeless. Today I was full of hope. Today is still happening. Today will end soon. There has to be so much more, more than today.

what do I want?!

A question that was asked of me today. WHAT IS IT, THAT PRISCILLA WANTS?!?! hmmm... I do know, but it is always good to remind yourself of those things. so that is what this is.



Obviously, someone who loves Jesus. Committed to the journey of personal healing and health.sensitive to the Spirit of God and also to me.self-aware.loving.tender.FUN.someone who can engage in witty banters back n forth with me.loves people.great communicator.great listener.worshiper.musician.adventurous. someone who enjoys laughter at any moment. doesn't take life to serious.stable.someone who isn't afraid of me. someone who is a leader but knows how to let others lead as well. Knows God. Believes in the things of the Spirit.I want someone who believes that relationship is the one thing that we were created for, that is what life is about.

I just remembered a dream I had last night. I was sorting thru laundry. I was going thru and separating clothes that had been worn and what was clean. What I was keeping and what I wanted. There were things that were colorful (one was a swimsuit) that I had worn, but I really liked it, so i decided to wash it and not throw it out. But there was this big pile of clothes that I was getting rid of. and then another that was just being thrown in the wash. And now here I am re-evaluating what I want out of a relationship. Very interesting. I guess this is food for thought.

Teach me

Isnt it interesting how God will use the worst (seemingly)in your life to produce the best, sweetest tasting fruit. The freedom and truth that come out all wrapped in love. I can feel the change. I see it. I can taste it. This is good. The phrase it hurts so good keeps coming to mind. It is really interesting to see how life is turning out. I feel really desperate and hungry for God. I have been feeling this way a lot lately, and it had been a while since I had felt this way. I guess in any relationship it ebs and flows. It just sucks when you are wanting to flow and it is eb-bing.

I am up for a new job. I really hope that I can land this job. I would be able to put money into the things that I really feel like I am suppose to be doing. We will see what happens. I love today. I loved yesterday. God produce more love in me, teach me how to love. How to be grateful for where I am at and live in the now, the present. Teach me O'Lord. Teach me to LOVE. Teach me again how to be in your presence and not be jaded by your people. Fill me with Love so that it is overflowing, an overflow that changes people, without even trying. Just by being me. Teach me how to love me. To be me. Give me new songs. Teach me how to extract the fullness of Life from you.

Love, and healing

I went to bed last night feeling a little introspective. This morning I woke up @ 7am, feeling the same way. I feel like for the most part I am very self-aware. In the last few months I have learned so much about myself. My worth. What I want out of relationships, and what I want from myself, and what I want from God. I want so much more than what I have right now. I haven't been in this place in a really long time. Right now, what is surfacing is a deep deep desire to touch the heart of God for myself and for people. There has to be more than what I have experienced right now. I was seeing this guy for about a month, a quickly realised that I was worth much much more than what he was willing to give. So, I broke it off and didn't look back. I don't feel like my heart was effected by it that much, it was a little disappointing, but also it was so good and I caught it quicker than what I have in the past. So now I have been hanging out with this other guy, but it doesn't seem like he is really that into me. Which is also a bummer, but more than that it touches another part of me that I see needs more healing. I can tell that this wound isn't as deep anymore, that healing has definitely taken place. But I also see that there is still some more healing to be done. I realise that this doesn't have anything to do with me, but that doesn't make the pain any less. I have been feeling it for the last few days, maybe even a week, usually it takes me that long before I can actually figure out what is happening inside of me. But now that I know, I will sit with Papa, and let Him touch the pain so I can be healed, and be free :) I want you God to be my everything. I want my heart healed and whole. I want people to be around me and feel free, loved, and thru that get healing. I want the story of my life to be that I loved well, people got around me and could feel a physical manifestation of Love. Papa, help me be this. Help me be love to all people, to love with out condition. This is my greatest challenge and my greatest reward.