Love, and healing

I went to bed last night feeling a little introspective. This morning I woke up @ 7am, feeling the same way. I feel like for the most part I am very self-aware. In the last few months I have learned so much about myself. My worth. What I want out of relationships, and what I want from myself, and what I want from God. I want so much more than what I have right now. I haven't been in this place in a really long time. Right now, what is surfacing is a deep deep desire to touch the heart of God for myself and for people. There has to be more than what I have experienced right now. I was seeing this guy for about a month, a quickly realised that I was worth much much more than what he was willing to give. So, I broke it off and didn't look back. I don't feel like my heart was effected by it that much, it was a little disappointing, but also it was so good and I caught it quicker than what I have in the past. So now I have been hanging out with this other guy, but it doesn't seem like he is really that into me. Which is also a bummer, but more than that it touches another part of me that I see needs more healing. I can tell that this wound isn't as deep anymore, that healing has definitely taken place. But I also see that there is still some more healing to be done. I realise that this doesn't have anything to do with me, but that doesn't make the pain any less. I have been feeling it for the last few days, maybe even a week, usually it takes me that long before I can actually figure out what is happening inside of me. But now that I know, I will sit with Papa, and let Him touch the pain so I can be healed, and be free :) I want you God to be my everything. I want my heart healed and whole. I want people to be around me and feel free, loved, and thru that get healing. I want the story of my life to be that I loved well, people got around me and could feel a physical manifestation of Love. Papa, help me be this. Help me be love to all people, to love with out condition. This is my greatest challenge and my greatest reward.