ramblings

What is life about, what adventures are we suppose to have in life? Can anyone answer that question about life? Personally I dont think that they can with a specific answer, there is no text book answer, all it is says is that we are to love. Why does the church try and answer that question like they know what the answer is, or they give some ridiculous answer like "ministry" I hate it with a passion, do you know that I hate "ministry". I could care less about a "ministry", all I want is Jesus, and if that looks like "ministry" then so be it, but it is rare that I have found Him there. I went to a conference last night, and I hate conferences but Papa told me to go, and I left after worship and I had this feeling that I was going to be called out and prophesied over but I left anyways b/c I had all I could take. Well sure enough, This man called me out and started to give me a word and I wasnt even there, so my amazing roommate called me up and was like come back he just called you out and gave you a word. And I came back and it was really good. But he did say one thing that made me tweak, and it was just my personal issue. He said that I would have a ministry yadda yadda yadda....well I dont want a "ministry". I hate "ministry". Why cant we just love and that is what it is about. LOVE! It makes me trigger so bad,why does it look so religious? I know that people have thier stuff but if there is one thing I cant tolerate it is the religious spirit, I have no grace or tolerance for it. I have been asked to do stuff with our church, and I have a feeling that I am suppose to do it, sacrafice and obedience! It wasnt really what I was thinking but I believe God is sneaky. Sometimes He has to trick me, or so it looks that way. I guess I just dont want to get sucked in that tornado of churchy activities and programs and such.....I just dont like it, I really dont think that I will b/c I know that God wont let me and my strong stubbornness of making sure that I wont. Dont get me wrong, I like the church, I just dont like the way it has been thinking. I cant wait until the church gets radical and we redeem its name and place in society. I cant wait, and I dont have to
b/c we are changing it as we think, as a man thinks so he is, huh Kayle? I know that Kayle is on my side. It is changing, it has to, b/c when love walks in it cant stay the same.