vulnerable

I am feeling a little extra sensitive right now, extremely vulnerable, what is going on and why? No it isnt that time either. I feel needy and in want! This is a strange feeling since I have spent my whole life purposefully not being that way, not needing anyone, being self sufficent, taking care of my own. So why now, why now do I feel a need for need, why am I in want, and I dont even know really what for, I just know that it is there. How do I fill this, what do I do with it. I dont like it! I am on my face daily with Papa, my sweet Jesus fills everything, but why do I still have this feeling of need and want, I am not sure...but I hope it leaves soon. I could put on music, but Im enjoying the silence, I could talk but there is nothing to say, I could sing but it doesnt mean anything, I would listen but I dont want to hear. Im stuck in a place where I know nothing, only to seek His face. Im looking but I dont know what for, Im vulnerable in a place I've never been. I can see me, but it's not pretty. what is the truth, determines the lies. this is weakness, im not strong...living this way could be way to long! I need that touch, one soft word, if I could hear it now and feel it too, I guess I wouldnt be missing you! Please show yourself in such a real way, O sweet Jesus I need you today!


this was something that i wrote last year, and i liked it alot.

cheers!