deliverance
LEAVE ME ALONE...DAMN IT! YOU KNOW WHO I AM TALKING ABOUT!!!
anyways, yesterday was amazing! I was manifesting like crazy, and Laura looks at me and says you need deliverance....and I was like yeah you are right! So I had this sozo for like 3 to 4 hours last night and so much came out. Here I go being completely vulnerable....
Issues like not feeling worth it...really not thinking that I am beautiful...shame...and the list goes on. I cried for hours...and now I am processing what happened last night. There was this false confidence I had, sometimes it was true to me, but alot of times not. There was this thing I knew I already did that protected me from getting hurt, a thing of, "I'll show you, I can do it" and sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes not. We dealt with the times it would be bad. So much stuff it seems like that the last 24 hours doesnt seem long enough, and it isnt, I am sure I need more time to process. There was also this thing of me afraid of a part of me that is sensitive, and I realized that I am very sensitive. I have been so afraid to be that, b/c I have always had to protect myself, that being sensitive just wasnt in the package, or being able to let that part of me show itself wasnt in the package, but I can be and that is ok. And I actually like the idea of me being sensitive, I knew I was but showing it to people just never happened unless you know me super, super well. And most people....well lets just say alot of people dont see that part of me. I love Holy Spirit, He is truly my best friend. I feel as if I was at the bottom of the barrel last night and Holy Spirit like He so wonderfully does came in and swept me off my feet. I love Him. I realize that I am weak, I have nothing to give, nothing to offer, just me...and I guess that will do, cause that is all Jesus ask for!
Raw, weak, undignified, and all for my lover....over and over I will become what He ask of me no matter what the cost.
no matter what the cost...
I love you Jesus!
anyways, yesterday was amazing! I was manifesting like crazy, and Laura looks at me and says you need deliverance....and I was like yeah you are right! So I had this sozo for like 3 to 4 hours last night and so much came out. Here I go being completely vulnerable....
Issues like not feeling worth it...really not thinking that I am beautiful...shame...and the list goes on. I cried for hours...and now I am processing what happened last night. There was this false confidence I had, sometimes it was true to me, but alot of times not. There was this thing I knew I already did that protected me from getting hurt, a thing of, "I'll show you, I can do it" and sometimes that is a good thing and sometimes not. We dealt with the times it would be bad. So much stuff it seems like that the last 24 hours doesnt seem long enough, and it isnt, I am sure I need more time to process. There was also this thing of me afraid of a part of me that is sensitive, and I realized that I am very sensitive. I have been so afraid to be that, b/c I have always had to protect myself, that being sensitive just wasnt in the package, or being able to let that part of me show itself wasnt in the package, but I can be and that is ok. And I actually like the idea of me being sensitive, I knew I was but showing it to people just never happened unless you know me super, super well. And most people....well lets just say alot of people dont see that part of me. I love Holy Spirit, He is truly my best friend. I feel as if I was at the bottom of the barrel last night and Holy Spirit like He so wonderfully does came in and swept me off my feet. I love Him. I realize that I am weak, I have nothing to give, nothing to offer, just me...and I guess that will do, cause that is all Jesus ask for!
Raw, weak, undignified, and all for my lover....over and over I will become what He ask of me no matter what the cost.
no matter what the cost...
I love you Jesus!
posted by priscilla at 5:44 PM
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