fire

im not even in africa! i havent even stepped off of american soil, and i feel like im being stripped once again. i feel like another layer is coming off, but this time it is a big layer, it is a deep layer. my heart is being exposed. my life is being transformed. it hurts good. im realizing how selfless im not. im full of myself and that has to die. im realizing that i live for myself way to much and the Lord is burning that out of me. About two or three weeks ago i started to feel this burning in my body. it started in my stomach and now it is going all over. and i realized that it was God burning me with His holy fire. being purified, sanctified. it might not feel that great, but it is good and very much needed for what my life is suppose to look like. I thought that when i went to africa that this is what id be getting, but it has started already. im glad that i serve a God that is good. He is only what He can be and that is good. i believe that when we have told God " God i wanna burn with your fire, your spirit, your passion, i wanna burn for you" he takes us serious. He is God of His word. He is a God of covenant. He is God. so i have prayed that prayer a million times, and He has taken me up on it, and contiunes to. Im glad that He does, at whatever the cost I wanna look like Him. and here is the thing about that, it wont be pretty. im sure that it will be messy, but im sure that it will worth it. totally raw, totally real, totally me( a better me).