that is it.

im realizing that my hearts breaks for people more easily than i thought. even now as i sit beside this guy who barely has the use of his arms, i wanna cry. Lord does he know what life is about? does he know? does he know that he is loved. although people throughout his life im sure have told him otherwise, the world has mocked him and made fun of him, does he know that even though all that has happened that he is loved?

today i sat with my good friend Chris as he started telling me the story of the last years of what Papa has been doing in his life. i started to cry on two different occasions. He got it, He got what life is about. one thing and that is love. my heart cries for two reasons, for the people that get it, tears of joy. and for those that dont, tears of a breaking heart. i feel that im starting to feel papa's heart all the time for people, the cry of my heart is to know His heart for everyone. i wanna know it, feel it. i dont want to hide from love whatever that looks like. i want to be completely available to love where ever i am no matter what the cost. i have said this before and i will say it again, love will cost me everything, it will cost my life. but just to experience it for a brief moment, it is worth it. it is worth it. i might not know alot, but i do know this, love is worth it, every bit of it, it is worth it. im sure at times i will get it wrong, but i will spend my life trying. that is what it is all about to be loved and to love. that is it.

if i could be known for one thing besides being funny, I want to be known for love. i want to love and love deep with no walls, no hindrances. just love without expectation of anything in return. just love. that is it, just love.