Jesus

Lord im not sure what you are doing or what this will look like. all i know is that it never looks like what i think that it is going to look like. i dont wanna go with heels dragging and fists clinching. i wanna say yes, i will go where you go and i will say what you say and pray what you pray. im dying, im dying good. the more faith im asked to have, the more this death happens. by the time this is over, there wont be any of me left, and im sure that is exactly how you want it to be. whatever the call looks like, even if it is something i wasnt expecting. i want my heart to be good, i want to say yes. papa, im leaving in two weeks. you are the only thing i have. im depending on you to come thru, as you do so well. im trusting in you, im calling on you Jesus. Jesus, heal me. heal me. heal me, im depending on you, im hoping in you, Jesus. this is my heart, take it. take care of it, guard it with your life, oh wait a sec. you already did. haha silly me. Jesus, i love you so much. i know that at the end of the day, in the midnight, in the noon day, you are good. i know that at any moment you are good. you are good. you are good. you are good.


i leave in 13 days. tonight i had dinner with friends. it made me sad to think that in two weeks when i leave, i wont be able to just call mal up and say hey. i love you. just to hear her voice, and make me laugh. or to say hey wann meet me at fidos on saturday? or during church on sunday, hey mal want get some starbucks? there wont be times to call lauren and tell her to answer her phone and quit screening my calls. haha. ah and yes the dreaded calypso cafe with ashtown which isnt dreaded anymore since out new favorite server gives me free food bc he thinks im cute, good ol' ted. o, and lareasa, girl well so far, all our late night talks. that will be missed for sure and getting to play you my song on the piano, which i am so good at playing. haha. anyways, it was fun hanging with you girls tonight. i will def. miss you like crazy. look at the bright side at least you guys wont get in as much trouble. hahaha!!!