ghost are never silent
As 2011 has brought in a new year it has been very intriguing to say the least. The last year of my life has been very GOOD for me. I felt that I was always on the horizon of a better day. Not that there weren't a few stark grey days in 2010, but for the most part it was a violent array of colors. It was like a crisp spring day in May, when you step outside and the wind is slightly blowing the sunshine in every cell of your skin and the bright pink, purple and yellow flowers are screaming out to you to enjoy life. That was 2010 for me. It was like living in LA. 340 days of the year is sunshine and the others are just lucky finds that have been washed up on the shore.... you know that it has to mean something. I feel like 2010 I was the best I have ever been. Healthy in all aspects of the word. Physically, Spiritually and Mentally. I have worked really hard the last 30 years to get to this place, not that I have arrived by any means, but I am fully satisfied and felt like I have worth and meaning to life. I am doing what I love, and what I felt like I came out here for. I decided to go after it and it happened. Do I take all the credit definitely not, well some, but there is a huge universe and God that is committed to aiding me. So, 2010 is awe-inspiring to 2011, which is what we are on to.
2011.
Intriguing. A mystery. A Solvent.
It has come like water and dissolved 2010. It no longer exist. The present is what is here. I started reading the "power of now" again and finished it. something I like to do since have read it the first time, read it every 4 or 5 months, to keep it fresh. So as I re-read this book its a simile to the bible, because every time I read it I feel like I get something NEW from it. Like it is always speaking to me. So its now February and I finished the book and already I feel as though I am an onion and new layers are being peeled off and the more you peel the more you cry, because the potency of the onion has been capsulated within the walls of the skin and been on lock down, now that oxygen has been added to the mix, it permeates the environment, causing tears. Not that I have really been crying,because I haven't which is odd for me. I feel like for the majority of my life, I have my head on straight. I am very aware of myself and others. Sometimes you don't know that I am, but I am. Especially when it comes to areas in my life that I need to work on, I mean for the most part who isn't aware of their issues. So I am diligent and when they come up I work thru them making me a better person. I am confident and strong. Kind and loving. Not perfect, but I am a good person. Singleness can make your reality completely different than when you are in relationship with someone. In my single life, I am EXTREMELY CONFIDENT. I like, no I love myself. I love who I am. I am free and independent. I am funny and kind. Thoughtful. a good friend. I am a great catch. haha, in my single life. But add a person that I am interested in and it throws the whole formula off. In my single life I don't have anyone pushing my insecurities. Because I am the only person that affects me. I don't give that power away, there is no to give it to. Alas, there is, and there are insecurities and there are ghost in the closet that aren't silent. They never are. My ghost of present insecurities have arisen and they are making me want to crawl in the whom of my bed never to deal with again. Its scary and exciting all at the same time. After re-reading "The Power of Now" I always come to the thought of " God bring up my fear, so I can deal with it". So, that is exactly what is happening, yet again another piece of the puzzle is being tampered with trying to find where it belongs. only this time, hopefully it won't take 30 years to process. Its so intriguing to me how this intangible "thing" can cause so much disillusionment. So here to live in the present, to live in a truth, a reality that only betters my life and others. I find myself on a journey, emotional, spiritual, and mental of constant. It never ends. 2010 was a good break to put into practice what I have learned. And now after a summer break I am back in school. I am happy to be back in school, I LOVE LEARNING, although it can be a lot of energy, its the best kind. so here is to the ghosts in my closet, I hope they are never silent.
2011.
Intriguing. A mystery. A Solvent.
It has come like water and dissolved 2010. It no longer exist. The present is what is here. I started reading the "power of now" again and finished it. something I like to do since have read it the first time, read it every 4 or 5 months, to keep it fresh. So as I re-read this book its a simile to the bible, because every time I read it I feel like I get something NEW from it. Like it is always speaking to me. So its now February and I finished the book and already I feel as though I am an onion and new layers are being peeled off and the more you peel the more you cry, because the potency of the onion has been capsulated within the walls of the skin and been on lock down, now that oxygen has been added to the mix, it permeates the environment, causing tears. Not that I have really been crying,because I haven't which is odd for me. I feel like for the majority of my life, I have my head on straight. I am very aware of myself and others. Sometimes you don't know that I am, but I am. Especially when it comes to areas in my life that I need to work on, I mean for the most part who isn't aware of their issues. So I am diligent and when they come up I work thru them making me a better person. I am confident and strong. Kind and loving. Not perfect, but I am a good person. Singleness can make your reality completely different than when you are in relationship with someone. In my single life, I am EXTREMELY CONFIDENT. I like, no I love myself. I love who I am. I am free and independent. I am funny and kind. Thoughtful. a good friend. I am a great catch. haha, in my single life. But add a person that I am interested in and it throws the whole formula off. In my single life I don't have anyone pushing my insecurities. Because I am the only person that affects me. I don't give that power away, there is no to give it to. Alas, there is, and there are insecurities and there are ghost in the closet that aren't silent. They never are. My ghost of present insecurities have arisen and they are making me want to crawl in the whom of my bed never to deal with again. Its scary and exciting all at the same time. After re-reading "The Power of Now" I always come to the thought of " God bring up my fear, so I can deal with it". So, that is exactly what is happening, yet again another piece of the puzzle is being tampered with trying to find where it belongs. only this time, hopefully it won't take 30 years to process. Its so intriguing to me how this intangible "thing" can cause so much disillusionment. So here to live in the present, to live in a truth, a reality that only betters my life and others. I find myself on a journey, emotional, spiritual, and mental of constant. It never ends. 2010 was a good break to put into practice what I have learned. And now after a summer break I am back in school. I am happy to be back in school, I LOVE LEARNING, although it can be a lot of energy, its the best kind. so here is to the ghosts in my closet, I hope they are never silent.
posted by priscilla at 12:25 PM
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