im done..farewell

ok so im done! If im not over it I will be soon! I can't wait anymore and it is obvious that this person doesn't like me or they would have done something about it by now! friends you say, what is friends? b/c I dont think this person knows the meaning of it! He is absolutely wonderful, totally cool, loves Jesus but obviously isn't for me in any way, not even friends! this was my decision, because I can't pretend that I dont like him and he made it quite obvious that we cant be friends! I was fine with being friends not expecting anything, and then wala he says stuff that freaks himself out and only speaks to me on his terms and that is not a friendship! I love rollercoasters but, not when it comes to my heart! It is partly my fault I would say b/c he did tell me that he didn't liked me, but then woud say crazy stuff that didn't add up to his "not liking me"! He is amazing but just a little unsure about himself I would guess! So I hope he has a great life and succeeds in all he does and has lots of freedom and joy in his life! it is kinda sad really b/c we have such a great time together connect on all sorts of levels and just really enjoy each other so it seemed but I guess I was wrong! Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see! Well that has all changed! So goodbye, farewell, sianara, arevadurche, chow, .......I spelled all those wrong but you get my point! It made me laugh, I guess it doesn't take much anyways, Im glad that joy is one of the strongest things in my life! I love Jesus so much, He really is my love!

see ya, see ya
Pris