holidays....boo hoo!

Well I love the holidays, epecially Christmas! I love the smell of Christmas, clean, crsip air, the smell of christmas trees! the sound of snow, there isnt a sound of snow, but I love it anyways! The idea of beanies, gloves, scarves, and cute sweaters and jackets. drinking hot chocolate outside and your nose turning red! The idea of it is great if it really turns out that way. But this christamas like the last two might be equally as shitty or worse! I am spending it all by myself. My mom decicded not to celebrate it this year b/c my sister and brothers are not on speaking terms with her, so no christmas, and they are going to Florida to see Jim's dad in the hospital. Mallory is gonna be with Mark, Vange and her family dont invite anyone b/c just immediate family there is like 75 people, litterally. Jamie and Emily are gonna be out of town I think and I probably wouldnt go anyways it would be wierd. Wow it is funny how it seems I can have like a ton of friends and then they just disapear. Where did they all go, where is family, friends during the holidays? I dont know I just know that holidays make me really not like my family. I asked for one thing this Christmas from Papa! I hope I get it! I really really want it. More than anything that is earthly. I guess we will see.

I hope that this Christmas isnt bad, it isnt here yet maybe things will look up? I hope that they do, if not that would be really depressing.

O, Mallory never wear my brand new jeans again! I havent even worn them yet. Never ever, or we will fight!