destiny

here i am little ol me. in a cafe where i often find serenity. sitting here gathereing my thoughts after the last 7 days, which have by far been the most intense of my life. i knew that my life was about to change but i never expected this. i never expected something so drastic, something so big that without grace will evelope me, swallow me whole and spit me out broken. last night as i stood in a kitchen stirring rice for the family, i got it. i saw why the last 2 years of my life have looked why they have. i was being prepared for something that at the time i knew but didnt see. and couldnt see. but now it is right in front of me and i know the soverignty of God. im writing this and i feel the fear of God and want to weep. my physical body has been taking quite alot this last week. all i want to do is ask for grace. more grace. and then more after that. i can only do this life with grace. my life in a day all of a sudden makes so much sense. He does find strength in our weakness. and i am weak. completely, totally. i find my heart breaking for what He is breaking for. but i also find myself with a righteous anger. i find myself with love and mercy and compassion. i find myself in the center of it all. bc that is where i find Jesus. no matter how tired i get, how drained, i just want more of Him in my life. I just want more. i want to be more desperate and more abandoned than i have ever been. He is asking the question....will you go? and my answer...YES. a resounding yes! i have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. i am nothing without Him. if you take Him away, i die. its that simple. my life all of a sudden has gotten purpose. all though i dont see all the pieces, i see the ending and im on my way to that. im excited. im desperate to see my lover, to feel his embrace, to feel his heart, to see his eyes that are so passionate about me.

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love

i have been betrothed
to the king above all kings
i am not my own
and you pledged yourself to me

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love

take me away to the place
that i never want to leave
take me away to the place
that i never want to leave

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love