cynical or am i?

for my life time that i have been able to date... which has been a matter of 10 years, i havent. mainly because i have had standards. well that was what i called them and everyone around me and the people who taught me to "have standards" priscilla "God is protecting you" or my personal favorite " your intimidating, your so beautiful" , anyways this is just some of the many things i have heard my life. now as i sit here and im almost 27 and have never truly had a boyfriend i am starting to ask the question what is wrong with me? or what is wrong with the "high standards" i have had. and what if what everyone calls settling really isnt settling. everyone has problems, issues as i like to call them. God knows i am a queen of them. what if having standards that are never going to be attainable is really what is settling because that leaves me alone and lonely the very thing that i dont want. and settling means settling for something that you really dont want. and the truth is that i do want a boyfriend, to eventually get married, a person that i can laugh with and be goofy with but there is a connection spiritually. i just think that maybe the thoughts i have had about "boyfriend, dating, relationships" has really kept me from alot. and to me that is settling. and the whole thing about pursuit, im not sure what i think about that right now. im wondering if that will ever happen. does that even exsist in the mindset of a man. im not sure that it does. i think we have emasculated it so much that it wont happen. in this moment i pretty convinced that i will probably never get married, so i might as well come to terms with it now so i can get over the hope of ever having it. i should just go ahead and move to some island and live alone with Jesus. that would be much less painful. would you say i was being cynical, well im not sure that i am as much as i would say that i am being a realist at this point. not cynical, a realist. i would say hopeless. because i dont have any at this point. i mean when my closest friends says to me " if i could find a male prostitute for you i would" that pretty much leaves me hopeless that my only option right now is a meaningless lay and a moment of feel good. that is pretty much hopeless. doesnt say much of hope... i mean really.