final decision

ok, i know that i said that i was going to go to IHOP first, but things have changed. haha who would have thunk it. im still going to IHOP but now, to visit my friend steph..that being the main reason im there, and also to seek the face of Jesus that is always nice as well. something happened last night. i was talking to my friend and then at the end of the convo, she asked to pray for me. of course im open to recieving any kind of prayer, especially after just coming out of this ast season of my life. my realisation for knowing my need it huge. so i just sat there and recieved. it was good. i cried and God showed up. but then something else happened that proceeds her prayer. she asked that i would have clarity and she broke off confusion, and oppression and all this stuff, right. well this morning i woke up, and was like i still feel like it isnt the right timing but havent fully made a decision yet...i ponder all things today. and finally, after talking to my dearest friend whom i love so much even she wont know how much when we get to heaven. it hit me, i have a heart for LA, i already know that. but i need to be totally sold on going out there when i go. bc it will get hard, life always does, and when it does i need to know that God told me it was the right timing. and i dont have that right now. and i think that it is a better idea for me to have my cosmetology liscense when i go out there, instead of going out there to get it. it will just help me out in the long run. so im getting an apartment and a car, and im going to cosmetology school. im going to spend the summer here and really enjoy my life stepping in the right direction. mmuuuuuaaaaaaa (evil laugh)
that is my final decision. im staying for now, and vangi almost cried she was so excited that i was staying. that makes me feel so loved. if she was the only person that loved me, i sometimes think that woud be enough because i know that she has so much love for me. i have some clarity now and dont feel so bi-polar anymore. ha. im excited to see what good things come of this next season in my life.