Here we go again?
Well, so much is going on! So many emotions that are running through me! So I say to my self " Here we go again" and I ask myself this question "Can you handle it?" " Will your heart be right?" " How will you be?" ...... And so badly I want to say yea with ease and be excited with so much emotions of joy and happiness! Will I in the end sure but with much hurt and pain! The question isnt really am I happy for them, because of course I am! They are getting something everyone wants in life, it really has to do with me, question? when is it my turn?
Mallory has just started dating this guy and they are gonna get married, he told her last night that he wanted to talk to her dad! And we all know what that means! I am really excited for her, but this will be the 4th good friend this year that is getting married and I am left alone or so it seems! Here we go again, I make friends, that are amazing and fun, and then bam here comes a man and then here I am left with no friends! I know that isnt true,I still have my friends but so much changes and that is great but, when it happens all around you and not to you, you begin to think what is wrong with me? Do I have a huge harry issue that no one is telling me about? It can be hurtful, and not that they are hurting you, but it hurts when they are getting what you want, and you arent! I know that God is good, I know that He is faithful! And I know that I should look at this situation and be ever so hopeful, and be like yes! It can happen to me, but let's be honest that is not the first thing I think, I cry and become an emotional wreck and say to myself, GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD, repeatedly with tears of hurt and pain, just knowing that God is good and He is faithful no matter what is looks like! Even though at that moment it doesnt feel like it, or look like it! I know that in my pain God is Good, and that He is faithful and I can rest assured on that! I can rest in the truth that God is Good and that He doesnt know how to be anything other than what He is and that is Good, and Faithful! Knowing that, really knowing that, there is hope and there is faith! I believe with every fiber in my being that God is Good and God is faithful!
So " Can I handle this?, will my heart be right?, How will I be?" Well let me tell you....
In my heart, I will rejoice with gladness and it will manifest itself, I will lift up a sacrafice of praise and thanksgiving in my heart that Mallory is happy and God has been faithful to her! I will dance with joy and laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn! I can handle this, not b/c I am strong or have a good heart but because I know that God is Good, and that is the only thing I can trust, that he is faithful and He is good! I can trust that He is God and He is the very best at being God! That is how I will handle this, how I will be and how my heart will be! Even when I dont want to! I will share a delightful heart with my friend! I will not be selfish and I will love with my heart at risk! I am excited for her!
I AM EXCITED FOR HER, CONGRATULATIONS MALLORY! I LOVE YOU!
Mallory has just started dating this guy and they are gonna get married, he told her last night that he wanted to talk to her dad! And we all know what that means! I am really excited for her, but this will be the 4th good friend this year that is getting married and I am left alone or so it seems! Here we go again, I make friends, that are amazing and fun, and then bam here comes a man and then here I am left with no friends! I know that isnt true,I still have my friends but so much changes and that is great but, when it happens all around you and not to you, you begin to think what is wrong with me? Do I have a huge harry issue that no one is telling me about? It can be hurtful, and not that they are hurting you, but it hurts when they are getting what you want, and you arent! I know that God is good, I know that He is faithful! And I know that I should look at this situation and be ever so hopeful, and be like yes! It can happen to me, but let's be honest that is not the first thing I think, I cry and become an emotional wreck and say to myself, GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD, repeatedly with tears of hurt and pain, just knowing that God is good and He is faithful no matter what is looks like! Even though at that moment it doesnt feel like it, or look like it! I know that in my pain God is Good, and that He is faithful and I can rest assured on that! I can rest in the truth that God is Good and that He doesnt know how to be anything other than what He is and that is Good, and Faithful! Knowing that, really knowing that, there is hope and there is faith! I believe with every fiber in my being that God is Good and God is faithful!
So " Can I handle this?, will my heart be right?, How will I be?" Well let me tell you....
In my heart, I will rejoice with gladness and it will manifest itself, I will lift up a sacrafice of praise and thanksgiving in my heart that Mallory is happy and God has been faithful to her! I will dance with joy and laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn! I can handle this, not b/c I am strong or have a good heart but because I know that God is Good, and that is the only thing I can trust, that he is faithful and He is good! I can trust that He is God and He is the very best at being God! That is how I will handle this, how I will be and how my heart will be! Even when I dont want to! I will share a delightful heart with my friend! I will not be selfish and I will love with my heart at risk! I am excited for her!
I AM EXCITED FOR HER, CONGRATULATIONS MALLORY! I LOVE YOU!
posted by priscilla at 4:44 PM
2 Comments:
Miss P,
Just so happens we have a number of young beauties like you in the kinship ma and I lead. They all want to get married too. The Lord spoke to the group through one of the other leaders and told her to ask all the married people to talk about how they got married and at what age. It was very revealing to see that the ages were all over the map and the circumstances crazily varied.
Point is, you have no idea when it might happen because there is no formula. And you have no idea who it might happen with. The idea that we get married when we are young is just an idea and not the pattern. Try thinking about it outside the 'usual' way of thinking about it. Locking into the 'usual' way puts a time limit on it and a certain type of person that's required and does nothing but put huge pressure on you for it to happen.
Renounce the idea that it has to happen in a certain time or a certain way or with a certain type of person. Your sweet little heart can't take all that pressure.
Don't fall into the comparison trap and compare your life to all your friend's lives. That trap has steel jaws that don't allow freedom. I like your closing testimony, good work.
Ma and I love you
Hello friend! Let me add another thought to my Father's piece of wisdom.
You don't want to just get married, you want a good marriage. People often rush in and it seems so great but then the trials begin. This is the opposite of fun, this is not a good marriage.
You are being prepared by the Lord to be married, allow him to prepare you. Maybe your future husband is also being prepared by the Lord at this time. Pray for him, pray he will be prepared by the Lord to share his life with you for all the right reasons. Pray that you will both be prepared so that together you will be capable of a great marriage, not an average marriage (or a bad marriage).
We love you!
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