He just is

in the last few days, well let me do what i do best and round up, the last week. i have been reading the word of God alot. i have been reading 1 and 2 peter, revelation, and dueteronomy. God is always in my heart and in my mind, but as of late, He has been the topic of almost every conversation, His soverignty, His heart, His will vs ours, the fear of the Lord, the God of covenant. anyways, with all that said, i have really been thinking alot about it all. it pretty much has consumed me, and im not complaining but bc of it all, i have also thought of the reality of how the enemy wants to distract me, decieve me. and all though im not scared of him, i have let the fear of being distracted and falling away come in. it has been only in small doses but that is how the enemy works a slow painful death. so, last night i was with Jesus crying and praying that i dont get distracted, that i will listen to the voices in my life and that i will have ears to hear and eyes to see and a soft heart. and as i am pouring my heart out, i hear :

GOD: "Priscilla! Stop it. you being paranoid about being distracted is what will be your distraction. if you stay close to Me, you wont be. look straight ahead, not to the left or to the right."

priscilla: ( my crocodile tears stopped immediately, it was strange) o, ok.

that was so refeshing and seemed to take alot of stress off but now i feel the need to close some doors that were opened to fear. i hate fear.so then today i realized that i needed alot of shots and i felt my chest tighten up and i had short breaths. i think i was having a panic attack, but it was bc of fear. i was like i have 4 weeks until i leave and nothing is done.....

GOD I NEED MONEY..... was my cry.

i felt stressed among other things. but then i talked to an amazing friend and i was reminded that everything is under control. God is big, the God that spoke the earth into exsistence. HELLO!!!! so yeh, i did some repenting for my unbelief and closed some doors and im great. i knew everything would be fine .... im not perfect yet.



God is good
God is good
God is good
He just is.

my sweet Jesus

Jesus, son of man
son of God you are.
we will proclaim your goodness, your holy name
we will shout it from the mountaintops
so that everyone will hear
we will shout it from the montaintops
proclaiming over deaf ears.

you are good
you are good
you are good
you are good



I love my Jesus, He is sweet. He is lovely, He is fierce.
He is mighty, He is Holy, He is good.
He is majestic, He is righteous, He is just.
the fear of the Lord is upon me. He IS.
He is love, He is love, He is love.

revelation of the cross

Your blood speaks a better word
Than all the empty claims I've heard upon this earth
Speaks righteousness for me
And stands in my defense
Jesus it's Your blood

What can wash away our sins?
What can make us whole again?
Nothing but the blood
Nothing but the blood of Jesus
What can wash us pure as snow?
Welcomed as the friends of God
Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

Your cross testifies in grace
Tells of the Father's heart to make a way for us
Now boldly we approach
Not by earthly confidence
It's only Your blood

We thank You for the blood
We thank You for the blood

We praise You for the blood
We praise You for the blood

Nothing but Your blood
Nothing but Your blood King Jesus

all about love

i have said this a many of times. it is all about love. what does look like? love is selfless. it will kill you. a true love that envelopes your heart, will kill you. but here is the beauty of it. when you experience love, you dont mind. you are willing to die. you are willing to give it all up. to say yes to the question that requires sacrafice. because loves comes in with fruit. fruit that says yes, yes i will die for you. yes, i will love and i know that it covers awholotta crapola. yes i will give who i am. yes. love is trusting, love is kind. love is truly beautiful. Jesus loves us. when He didnt want to die, asking the Father if this cup could pass from me, but He was a sacrafice. there is joy in love, that is how we are so willing to die, getting so consumed with the Spirit of God, just so He can kill us. Love it is a small, small four letter word that will cost you everything. but you know what, i see the fruit of it and i want it, i want more. i want to learn how to love more than what i know now. my life is all about love, or at least that is what i hope for.

amazing

1peter 5:8

be of sober spirit, be on the alert. your adversary the devil prowls about like a roaring lion seeking someone he may devour.

ok so the fact that it says that he prowls about LIKE a roaring lion, makes me think. Isnt Jesus considered the lion and the lamb. the enemy is going to come in and disguise himself like something, someone that looks like Jesus. that is why he said be aware, be on alert.

1 peter 5:9

But resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by your brethren who are in the world.

he is going to come telling you of the easier way, the way that is good, good by your standards that doesnt involve pain right now. but in the long run it will. peter said knowing that the same experiences of suffering are being accomplished by whom also live in the world. a couple of verses previous he is talking of the sufferings of Christ. warning us that we will suffer if we are living the way Christ tells us to live. dont be decieved, there is suffering either way in the world or for Christ. but there is grace and peace with Christ in vs 10 he tells us that after a while of suffering God comes with grace, and strength.

this is for me. im really enjoying what HS has been revealing to me. it is truth and there is freedom in it.

the word.

1 peter 1:13-19

Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.
As obedient children, do not be conformed to the former lusts which were yours in your ignorance,
but like the Holy One who called you, be holy yourselves also in all your behavior;
because it is written, "YOU SHALL BE HOLY, FOR I AM HOLY."
If you address as Father the One who impartially judges according to each one's work, conduct yourselves in fear during the time of your stay on earth;
knowing that you were not redeemed with perishable things like silver or gold from your futile way of life inherited from your forefathers,
but with precious blood, as of a lamb unblemished and spotless, the blood of Christ.

think about this...this is so frekin good. im loving it. aaaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhh!

prepare your minds for action, something is about to happen to you that will cause you to go into movement, require something of you, be prepared. Luke 12:35"Be dressed in readiness, and keep your lamps lit. be ready, keep your spirit sober, keep your spirit aware fixing it completely on the grace that you are going to need when you come to the revelation of who Jesus is, a revelation of the cross. when this revelation comes be obedient do not conform to the world, but be holy, look like Him. look like the who who called you, the one who gave you the revelation of who He is. we will be Holy as He is Holy. ok this is good. i love reading the word, there is so much life in it. He clearly gives it to us in the word. i feel like i am just reading the word for the first time. omg...i cant get over how i am loving it so much right now.

this is good

so last night a friend and i were talking about our generation and what Holy Spirit is asking of us. this is the revelation that we got and are continuing to get.

He is asking a question, will you? will you raise the bar, the standard for what it looks like to be in realtionship with me. will you give your life? will you give up your own will? your own agendas? will you be set apart and not look like the world? will you look like Me? will you? will you be holy as He is holy? will you get lower still? will you.... this is a time where He is asking the question and He is looking for a army a generation that will be about what He is about. You know we hear this message about co-partnering with God, that He is asking the question "what do you want" but if you look at the life of Jesus, when did God ever ask the question to His Son" what do you want to do", Jesus said that He only did what He saw the Father doing. You see not only was Jesus 100% God but He was also 100% man. He was perfect. He was man. we can attain this i believe. i believe it was elijah or maybe it was elisha, the point is he was so close to God that He got taken up with out dying. in a world that was full of sin. he was considered holy. what does that look like to be so close to Him that you are taken away. we have to be full of love, holy, pure of heart. have faith. always believing. in our generation there is a lot of good, but right now God is in the process of purifying. our generation has a independent spirit that is not from Him and they mistake it for freedom. freedom is completely different than independence. we think that we can be free to do what we please bc God wants what we want, we think that freedom looks like drinking excessively, smoking, cursing bc we arent bound by the law we can do these things, there is grace is what's said. but that is aggrogance, thinking that the ones before us have ran a race for nothing. and in the past i have been guilty of these things, but God is asking the question who do you look like? not me! where is the standard, who will step up to the plate and look like me, truly look like me. i am looking for a spotless, blameless bride. you think that my spirit is going to come and do something new??? but there is nothing new under the sun. i am not a religious person at all, but the Lord is giving me revelation of where we are getting it wrong and the revelation of what is right. in 2 peter 2:2 it says that people will come and speak falsely and the truth will look evil. it will look religious. our generation thinks that any kind of structure looks religious, chains and being bound. but that isnt it. if Jesus came to set us free, why then would He haven given us the way to live and not to live. if there is freedom in Him, then what we shouldnt do is for our freedom in Him. 2 peter 1 talks about if we live a certain way, we wont stumble, we will be free in the revelation of the cross. He is ushering in a move of Holiness, a move that will stand when the enemy comes bc we have founded ourselves in the word and what is true. a true freedom that cannot be taken away even unto death. we have this misconception that our life is suppose to be good, but by whose standards? Pauls life was good, by the sight of the Lord, Stephen's life was good, he was martyrd. He was stoned to death. in God's eyes that was good. what is your idea of good? im not sure that we know what good is. we want comfort and convience and that is whats said to be good. who's standards are we living by? the worlds? or Gods? God is looking for a people that are going to say YES. that will count the cost as worth it. that will sacrafice to look like Him. He is looking for a people that will not have any agenda but His. HIS WILL be done on earth as it is heaven. when we are so emmerced in HIM, we want what He wants, and the cost is beautiful. are you willing to be set apart, undivided focus on Him. what are you willing to give, to do? this is a time that is crucial in the spirit and in the natural. He is asking the question. will you say yes. the time is NOW, He is asking.

vange

there are times when it seems real and there are times when it is all a bit surreal. God is really sorting it out. im so glad bc i couldnt do it by myself and nor would i. im not sad about moving at all. it is so time. i can hardly take it, i wish i could have left yesterday. it is only 5 weeks and im gone. and it is funny bc it seems so natural to me to just all of a sudden, my life be completely different. that is usually how it happens with me. but there is something i cant put my finger on, it actually sends a charge of energy thru my spirit to answer the question "when are you coming back?" with a "I really dont know, but it feels like it could be a long time." WOW!!! that is crazy. i have been trying to wrap my head around all of what is going on, but i cant. and i know i should stop trying, but it is almost kinda fun to try and figure out the mystery. i cant help it, i am curious. i wanna know. and with all of that said, im sure i will never find out. haha.

for the last 2 years Vange has been one of my dearest and trusted friends. in the last 2 years, i have even become more free thru our friendship, i had finally found someone who was truly like me, kindreds.... we have talked hours and hours of her adventures with Holy Spirit, o how i longed to do that. my heart cried out for the very life that she so eloquently lives. she has told me many of times "you will, it is in us to live a life like this". so whenever i was looking for adventure, feel the itch to leave and part ways with this place i have called home, i would scurry off to vanges, to get a bit of air that breathed adventure and life, danger and excitement. my words could never tell her of her beauty, of her glow of life that is around her. i dont think that she will ever know how much i am going to miss her and how much i love her. what an inspiration she is in my life. i love my friend. i just love her. so here i am getting ready to leave on an amazing adventure with Holy Spirit, having no clue what my life will look like, and it just makes me think "what would vange do?" hahaha yeh that is right we would just laugh, uh so maybe i should ask the question what would howard do? hahaha that will get the job done. hahaha ok vange i love you and the first adventure is for you. i love you so much.

just like Him

i know this is Jesus, it is just like Him. i have 6 weeks until i leave and i know that all this stuff needs to be done but, im doing nothing. today is my day off and im in a coffee shop writing in my blog and hanging out with Jesus. hahahaha it actually brings me great joy. it makes me laugh. i cant do anything until He does something. so i will just hang out with Him until He does. hahaa. im sure Laura you are loving this, im sure you are laughing just like I am. ahhahhaha. well back to hanging with Jesus and asking Him what He is wanting me to know. that may be nothing, or it could be something, but what ever it is. im sure it is amazing. haha

time

it is early, i had an intense night. it has begun. the joy of it. last night as i sat with a friend we were talking of what HS is doing, and how He is moving right now. He is moving with haste. it is time. time to answer the question that He has been asking. what will you say? there is a price involved a high one. this is not a question that is answered lightly. it is funny, although more than anything i really wanted to go to Holy Given in Mozambique, i knew there would be a price invloved, i knew that my life would be forever changed and i could never go back to life as "normal" again. although i knew that i would go, there was still a wrestling inside of myself. why? bc i knew that i would have to die. priscilla could no longer be alive, not even just a little bit, to live the life Papa has created for me. so here i go again, another layer of death. but this time, i hope i die all the way. i want to be laid down for the purposes of HS. i want to go where He goes, i want to say what He says, i want to look like Him, smell like Him, i want to do whatever it is He is doing. that is the lifestyle i want to live. to be a laid down lover of Christ. so what is the price? death. do you wanna die? that is the question. are we so willing to give our lives that we will die? that is what He needs. He needs a generation that will be nameless, faceless, agendaless. a people who will stand on the mountain top and proclaim His goodness to the world no matter what the cost. He is looking for a heart that is willing, saying here i am use me. We have been wasting His time, we have said no for to long. even the stones will cry out, creation will praise Him if we dont. Luke 19:40. He will get what He paid for. He will. He is gathering an army to carry out His word. i want to be apart of it. it is time. it makes me think of Lord of the Rings. the return of the King. You see Jesus is coming back as a regining King. there will be a war and many battles. He is coming back with a fierceness in His eyes to take back what is His. and He wants to use us. to let all creation know He is King of Kings. King of Glory. the Alpha and Omega. the Beginnng and the End. He is. man writing this makes me excited that i am a part of the army of God. i know that sounds cheesy but funny enough it is true, and im ok with that.

it is official... im moving

well to all my faithful friends and readers. i feel the need to let everyone know what is going on in my life. so i dont have to explain this a million times. i am moving. i did get accepted to Holy Given in mozambique, africa. i am so excited and cant wait to see what Papa has in store for me there. i have been wanting to go to africa for as long as i can remember. i will be in africa for 3 months. but my move is longer than 3 months. the Lord had put London on my heart in the fall of last year. i had several dreams about it. i wasnt sure why at the time but now i know why. in January i met a girl name laura who has since then become one of my most amazing and trusted friends. i love her dearly. she is also from london and has been in the states for the last 8 months. she is moving back in 2 weeks to prepare more for what Papa is wanting to do in london. i will be moving there also. i am way excited and the Lord in His soverignty has made it very clear this is what i am doing. i will be going to London in the beginning of October until i have to be at Holy Given. and after Holy Given i will be going back to London, to which i believe will be for a significant amount of time. we will be living in the east end of London, bethnel green. we will be living among the poor, loving them thru community. we are excited but also realizing how big this is. we need your prayers. i have 6 weeks to get everything done. i know my Papa is big and that there is always enough. so i am believing that all will be done in a super quick way and that it wont be stressful. there is still alot of things that need to happen, and it will but, seriously your prayers would be awesome. pray that we will hear Holy Spirit very clearly in the direction that things need to be done. that angels are released to do what they are suppose to do. pray for grace. pray for more finacial provision to be released, that we would meet all the people we are suppose to met. this is very exciting, my life has just completely changed in a day, and since, has been speeding up continually. we need more God encounters, so you can pray that also. it is such a God thing that has happened. our leaders are completely 100 % behind us and have recognized this as God breathing on what has been placed in our hearts. God is soverign and good. to the core of who He is, He is good. He cant be anything else but good.

destiny

here i am little ol me. in a cafe where i often find serenity. sitting here gathereing my thoughts after the last 7 days, which have by far been the most intense of my life. i knew that my life was about to change but i never expected this. i never expected something so drastic, something so big that without grace will evelope me, swallow me whole and spit me out broken. last night as i stood in a kitchen stirring rice for the family, i got it. i saw why the last 2 years of my life have looked why they have. i was being prepared for something that at the time i knew but didnt see. and couldnt see. but now it is right in front of me and i know the soverignty of God. im writing this and i feel the fear of God and want to weep. my physical body has been taking quite alot this last week. all i want to do is ask for grace. more grace. and then more after that. i can only do this life with grace. my life in a day all of a sudden makes so much sense. He does find strength in our weakness. and i am weak. completely, totally. i find my heart breaking for what He is breaking for. but i also find myself with a righteous anger. i find myself with love and mercy and compassion. i find myself in the center of it all. bc that is where i find Jesus. no matter how tired i get, how drained, i just want more of Him in my life. I just want more. i want to be more desperate and more abandoned than i have ever been. He is asking the question....will you go? and my answer...YES. a resounding yes! i have nothing to lose, and everything to gain. i am nothing without Him. if you take Him away, i die. its that simple. my life all of a sudden has gotten purpose. all though i dont see all the pieces, i see the ending and im on my way to that. im excited. im desperate to see my lover, to feel his embrace, to feel his heart, to see his eyes that are so passionate about me.

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love

i have been betrothed
to the king above all kings
i am not my own
and you pledged yourself to me

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love

take me away to the place
that i never want to leave
take me away to the place
that i never want to leave

i cant wait for our wedding day to come
let me see your face
let feel your arms of love

omg...

all I can say is WOW! just WOW!

what has happened?

well i am asking myself this question. "what has happened?" as i sit in the corner of a local cafe asking myself that question as i am trying to process the last 3 days. im not sure that i can. my life has just officially changed and will keep changing. what happened last night was bigger than even i know. im not sure what it was but it was huge. i have realized that the enemy has wanted to keep me confused. if he keeps me confused than i will never fulfill the purpose and destiny God has purposed me for. it is a great tactic if i didnt have HS. the enemy wants to distract and confuse me. but it isnt going to work, not anymore. i saw last night, the last three days what it is he has been trying to keep me from. im not going to go into anything, i dont think i am suppose to. but what i can say is this. GOD IS GOOD, TO THE CORE OF WHO HE IS. He just is.

unbridled love

uninhibited, uninhibited
unbridled love
passion and fire, is His hearts desire
unbridled love

holy, holy
unbridled love

worthy worthy
unbridled love

worthy is the lamb
holy is the one who was slain

i cant wait

"i cant wait for our wedding day to come. i cant wait to see your face."

those words...that feeling...these emotions. so much i cant bare it, but i will. bc i just want more. basically the lyrics of this song is saying Jesus come back. i cant wait until your return. and that is exactly how i feel. Jesus come back. i am not my own. please come back.