Dear..

My dear sweet Holy Spirit

Im sorry. im sorry that i have blamed you for my broken heart, my hurt, and the pain that my heart has been feeling. im sorry that i havent let you come in all the way and heal it. im sorry that i have been hiding behind someone else. i know that you are good and that you want to come in and dance with me, dance the pain away. love the pain away. the brokeness away. im sorry that i have believed the lies of the enemy, and partnered with him in believing what isnt true about who i am. im sorry that i have believed that i will never be found by a man that will see with me with your eyes. Holy Spirit once again, i am watching my closest friends being pursued by these men who know you and know your heart for them. and they are treating them like the precious gold they are. as im watching this it puts little hope in me that one day i could possibly have that. but because i have bought into the lies of the enemy it is hard for me to believe this. but i so badly want to. is it true? is there really someone who will see that in me. i see it, i know that you see it, but will they? i want to say yes. i need to say yes. but right now, what i need is for you to come in all the way, im making room, right here, today. for you to come in and comfort me, fill my heart with your love, so i can know the truth. i need you to come in and tell me the truth. cancel out all the lies that i have believed, to take away the message that has been sent to me my entire life, and tell me the truth. i need your love. o, how i need your love. i dont want to believe this lie anymore. i want to know the truth, i need to know the truth and i need it to go deep. i know that this love will bring up pain, will bring up so much hurt, but all this has to come out so i can be healed. im asking so desperately for you to come in Holy Spirit and bring your comfort, your love and your truth. i need you.