rockin my face

I am learning how to recieve the love from my bridegroom! Relationships are the ultimate sacrafice and death to self. Although they are beautiful and lovely they are death. The ultimate way to manifest Jesus, God, Holy Spirit, the ultimate example of love! Jesus did it for us, He died, a sacrafice! We are (realtionships between man and woman) compared to Christ and the church. How Christ(man) died for the bride(woman) to show His love for her, and in return the church is to lay down thier lives, pick up thier cross daily and die to self. So it works both ways, we both die! It is a beautiful death though! It is ultimately about me being His bride, for the reward, any price is worth it! I will die a painful death just to see His face. I will pay any price here on earth to see the more of Him in my life. I am His bride and He has given me everything! I love Him and my love for Him continues to grow so much more than I know how to comprehend or articulate! I dont believe that there are any words to describe it! Papa has been teaching me so much in the last 2 weeks especially, that right now it feels a bit overwhelming to even try to communicate it b/c I still am trying to soak it all in and let it settle in me! I just love HIm so much He is rockin my frekin face off!

I LOVE YOU JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT, PAPA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life

Is life ever what you think it will be, I think that I have found the answer to that,and it is NO! Hopefully everything will turn out better, I really want to believe that, I am speaking it out and agreeing with the truth although it doesnt feel like truth, I know that it is! The only fight we have to fight is to BELIEVE! Amd so therefore I do....

BELIEVE
BBEELLIIEEVVEEE!!!! I DO, I DO!

involuntary suicide

showing me how to trust
learning how to love me
this is scary
involuntary, suicide

all that's coming out
beneath these smiling eyes
this is death
beyond the contrary
it is beautiful
involuntary, suicide

my heart is learning
how it loves
leaving behind painful memories
more room for all the love to carry
this is involuntary, suicide

this bitter death
brings the sweetest life
beauty found in every step
I feel the pain when mary wept
involuntary, suicide

I taste the freedom with His life
in His death
on the contrary this was
voluntary, suicide

to Papa...

I am so glad God doesnt give me everything I think I want, I am glad He gives me the best, and I dont always know what that is. I am so glad that I never married any of the guys I have liked in the past....what a mistake that would have been. He really does know what is best. And I dont always. Thanks Papa for saving me from a disturbing lifestyle once again....oh how my heart longs for you! I love you Jesus more and more as the seconds in the minutes pass me by.

I LOVE YOU!

hhmm

Life is good, love like you never were gonna get hurt.
that' all

promise

peter walked on water b/c of what he heard, and sank b/c of what he saw...

that is good stuff...
faith comes from hearing the word of God! our faith comes from what we hear....continually! We have to continually hear what Jesus is saying...a child of promise! He is faithful to giving us what He said He would! That was our promise, He died so we would live, so we would see greater things than what He did! Do greater things than what He did, it is already done, He is just waiting for us to rise up and shine...our light is already here! It is already done! It has already risen! Your will be done on earth as it IS in heaven! He died for us to be WHO WE WERE MEANT TO BE!!! World changers, that make history with His love, His power, His glory! It is already done....we just have to walk in it!

IT IS TIME TO WALK ON WATER!!!!

inside, outside

Inside outside, under my skin
Never ending love I don’t know where it begins?
I don’t know where it ends, I don’t know how high
I don’t know how deep, I don’t know how wide
Outside inside around the world
Never ending love envelops me like a cloud
I feel you in front, I feel you behind
I feel you up above, And I feel you at the side

And you, you’re all over me, you’re all over me
Your banner is over me, I give it all ‘cos

You still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me

Inside outside, pulling me in
No matter where I run I know you’ll never give in
I see you in the storm, I see you in a kiss
I’ve been around the world and never found a love like this

You’re all over me, you’re all over me
You’re everything I want to be
I’m all over you, you’re everything I want to see
You’re all over me

You, still captivate me, fascinate me
You still captivate me, saturate me
You still captivate me, liberate me
You still captivate me

After years of knowing Him and experiencing Him on daily basis, He still continuse to capitvate me, and each day even more. The lover of my soul, the highlight of my day, the joy of my life! I love Jesus so much and I just want more of Him.
this song by delirious is one of my favorites.....I just need HIM!

He is so good,and doesnt know how to be anything other than that, GOOD! He is just good! Oohhh how my heart adores Him! It is funny, God is still continuing to bring up issues to deal with. I actually like it.....it means I am getting clean like Him and that is the ultimate goal...to look like Him!

I need you more

I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face
I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face

As I come into this place
may all around me be erased
as I focus on your ways
may I lose myself in your embrace

I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face
I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face

show me your face
show me your face

I need you more, more than words can say
show me your face

all Im asking is to see yur face, to know you more, love you more, just more!

chew the fat

hey there world! the great big vast world of bloggers! what are we talking about tonight well, let me see...


let's take a minute and talk about what is going on in the spirit realm! It has been so crazy obviously we all know that I have issues I am working thru and it isnt Just me, it is all across the board, the church body! anyways, I have been having some crazy dreams lately, and if you are too, listen to them...they mean something! But my dreams have been about warring in the spirit and taking back what is already ours, what the enemy has stolen from us! Not tolerating his SHIT anymore! B/c we dont have to! It is all about faith and the only sin under the new covenant is unbelief! We as a church need to repent for unbelief and come into agreement with what is ours and take it back! Having faith is the key! The enemy can only delay the plans of the Father, not ruin them, and we can counteract it by faith! At least this is what I am believing that is truth.....o b/c it is! Jesus has given us seeds of promise and the enemy wants to kill steal and destroy them before you give birth to it, dont let him! He cant do it, he has no right! We are on the edge, about to birth something huge and satan is frekin out..pulling out all his tactics, but it wont work! BECAUSE I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE................
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

I got trashed at church on sunday so much so, I couldnt drive and had my car stopped in the middle of the road and mark had to pick me up and mal helped put me into someone elses car b/c I was wasted.....I think the most I have ever been...well at least in a really long time... like years. It was awesome...it lasted for hours! my head was so heavy, it felt wierd! well chew the fat!

another day, another issue

things i didnt know
an issue I thought I didnt have
has creep in my sight
suddenly causing a fright

my heart is torn between comfort and fear
joy and sadness
hostility and peace
I need grace to work thru
making eveything clear

I cry for no reason or so it seems
where ever I am
market or car
getting close to my heart
letting out the scream
hurt and disappointment
this is not the fun part

I know that I am loved
how could I not be
my heart knows, tell it to my mind
the battle continues to be renewed
refreshed daily that is the goal
to live love out loud
not stuck in a black whole

my spirit is taking this all in
I know there is healing and truth to be told
my mind will lose, my heart will win
Im taking it back, Im reaching for the gold!

vulnerability

It is wierd the things you will run to when you are feeling vulnerable, where your thoughts run! What you try to fill that spot with. I do stupid things all the time when I feel that way, call people who I shouldnt call, smoke a clove, drink some whiskey..hahaha not really I just thought that was funny! ( the whiskey part at least) everything else yes it is true! Not that any of those things are horrible, but it is just the motive behind it all. In the end I run right where I needed to be in the first palce to Papa! It never takes me long b/c I can recognize what is happening and where I am! When I am there, in Papa's presence, my troubles dont go away, but there is a knowing that "everything little things gonna be alright". I love that song by delirious, whatever the name of it is. My heart is filled with comfort. My question is still there...am I doing the right thing? and the answer is, only time will tell! I hate that I have to be patient, I want everything right now! We all do! But that isnt how life works, and I am learning to be ok with it b/c I have to!

today as I was at the bucks sitting, drinking an iced grande soy 2 pump white mocha, reading a book, and basquing in the sun, I realized how much I loved my life, even being single! I just enjoyed who I am. I like that! Also I love listening to other peoples conversations, what people like to talk about, and I heard this guy telling this woman that he is a call-guy, instead of a call-girl, he is a male prostitute basically and he was proud of it! He said with such dignity! It was rather funny and sad all at the same time. I usually would have said something to him like Jesus loves him but wasnt compelled to, it was a wierd feeling! oh well! I know Jesus loves him and I just asked God to show Himself real to that man! I have been staying up rather late, lately! that is unusual for me! Well I am off to myspace...where else can I be so social? hahaha

today

what a BEAUTIFUL day!

It is 72 degrees and sunny! the birds are chirping and I am listening to Chris Mclarney sing "I need you more"! what more could you ask for! Well actually alot more but for this moment it is perfect!

Ok that moment is over! I am in need of something more I can feel it! There is something in my spirit that is desperately wanting something so much more. for whatever reasons, I feel like I cant go to that part of my heart Papa is asking me to go, I cant access it for some reason, hurt, disappointment, whatever it is, I cant go right now! Failure, is the word I hear, echoing thru the walls of my mind, but in my heart I hear, it is ok lovely! It is soft and warm, but hard to grasp when failure is so loud and constant! It is amazing how the only thing we battle is our mind! it is our only war zone! I hate fear...the sounds of IT IS OK LOVELY is getting louder and the more I believe it, the more its drowning out failure! IT IS OK, that is right! IT IS OK! Papa loves me so much and will take me there when I am ready to deal, and the funny thing is, is that now that He tells me it is ok, I dont have to go there right now, it makes me want to go there and deal. Just the security of His love in my life makes it ok and knowin that I will be ok b/c Papa has me in His hands! I cant mess up something that bad, im not that powerful am I? no! Im ready just in this moment of writing this, I am ready! I dont know what it will look like but, I will go there! I love Jesus so much! I love what He did for me! I love that this issue was included on the cross, He already paid for my freedom in this issue! I am going to cash it in! I am taking my voucher to get my freedom!


What a beautiful day for the park....I think I shall go! anyone wanna come? It will be fun, sit in the sun, listening to amazing music, enjoying creation, sit in your thoughts of life and what it is gonna look like! Let's do it! see ya at pinkerton on the side, I have a great big red blanket and a guitar! you cant miss me!

laugh heard round the world

So yesturday was so amazing for me....It was healing and glorified laughter filling the air. As I sat outside of starbucks with friends laughing so hard that I was crying, couldnt breathe and my stomach about to burst with pain, I was laughing so hard. I love those laughs, I havent laughed that hard, Id say in at least a year! It was a long time coming! I think the last time I laughed that hard was with Katieann and Kayle. I use to laugh that hard daily, but I have been the funny in my life, not others. Not that others arent funny, they are, but equally as funny as me. So not much difference.....But anyways, it was so good. I actually think that this couple got up and left b/c I was laughing so hard and loud. I just couldnt help myself, there was no keeping that laughter quiet, not even if I tried. I miss laughing that much, I dont think I laugh enough, I laugh alot, but not enough. I want to laugh more.

As I have been writing the last 2 weeks, I am dealing with issues! I felt today the Lord remind me of something I have let go and dont want to pick back up. It was like He took me on scavenger hunt with clues as where to go, and I followed, all the while dealing with more issues, and still dealing with them, Im not sure I am ready actually but if I am there will be grace.

TRUST- is the issue, am I willing to trust Him? can I go there?

There was fear and now it is.....o, still FEAR! I hate fear! I am not tolerating it in my life.

My God is freakin amazing and I love Him so much, my lover, best friend and comforter!

Id be all by myself...speaking of.....'aaalllllllll bbbbbbyyyyyy myself, dont wanna be, all by myself" that was me singing that song! I love that song in Bridget Jones Diary, I have many Bridget moments in my life!

Ok oK well time for me to go to bed! I love sleeping...it is one of my favorite things to do!

server too busy

Man is God doing some awesome stuff...I think Ashtown found her husband on myspace...browsing men ya know...havent found any in the church yet so we figured why not myspace.....everyone is doing it!!!! hahahaha His name jester! ashley and jester..sounds good together. I prophesied it and I think it might come to pass. OK people...I'll let you know what happens...I'll keep you posted!

About me, same thing is going on dealing with the issues! But it is worth it!

what love does?

Perfect love casts out ALL FEAR! I am learning that perfect love does bring up all fear and casts it out! It is pretty amazing how God does that and it really works! Love is equally amazing as painful. Not because love equals pain but b/c love equals purity, and pure love is beautiful, but has to be exactly that pure and our issues have to frekin go! And it is painful, but a good pain, that we deal with all our shit! I really love, love! Love does conquer all and changes everything in our life. Nothing stays the same. Love is the only thing that is constant, The only thing that stays the same but changes everything! Love makes you want to change for the better, when you experience the pure form of Love you want to look just like it! smell like it, taste like it! Isnt that what life is suppose to be about..... the experience of LOVE, the power of LOVE, the revolution, the transformation of ....LOVE! that is it, what life is suppose to look like! I found the answer to the question, what is my life suppose to look like? what is my purpose? what is my destiny? well people it is simple! the answer... LOVE! I dont know what the journey looks like but I do know the purpose of the journey. It helps to see the big picture, it makes all the rest kinda easier to go thru, even when it is hard! the first day of this year, I wrote in my blog that I just wanted to love more, my life to be love! Well who knew it would have been so intense! Im going thru it to look like love! Issues galore so it seems but they are awesome because once they are gone I can love with a greater capacity and that is the end goal! God is good to the core of who He is! He doesnt know how to be anything other than what He is, and that is GOOD!

I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face
I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face

As I come into this place
may all around me be erased
and as I focus on your ways
may I lose myself in your embrace

I need you more, more than words cansay
I need to see your face
I need you more, more than words can say
I need to see your face

freedom is coming!

Well another day has come and gone and surfaced more issues!Friday was great, I woke with the sense that I need to get delivered, litterally from fear that had surfaced from the previous 5 days! So with much desperation, I found freedom! It was awesome and then Saturday came and I spent the first part of the day at Starbucks outside listening to music and enjoying the freedom I had recieved the day before! Well, then as the day progresses more issues start to surface. really you would thinkI was all issued out! I go to my friends house and realize that about 5 more issues surface and this time it is even more overwhelming than the day before. WOW who knew I had all this fear in me? dont answer that! But really it is so overwhelming almost to the point that I cant handle it. My deliverance and freedom is so important, for others to recieve the same freedom and deliverance it is so much bigger than I am. This last week is so huge in my life that I havent even been able to do anything but focus on what is in front of me! I AM BEING SET FREE! I will walk in truth for the rest of my life not only knowing in my heart but knowing in my mind,my mind truly being transformed and me being renewed, it says we are to renew our minds daily! God is doing this to me, I am being renewed!My mind is being renewed with Gods truth and not what I believe to be truth but His truth! Whatever that may be, I BELIEVE! I BELIEVE I BELIEVE!!!!!!!

I FREAKIN BELIEVE!!!!! I FREAKIN BELIEVE!!!

a voice from heaven!!!!

ok I was telling Papa that maybe i didnt need to get married! Im tired of the games, and I just cant take it and I think Im fine being single. This is my conversation to Papa in the car on the way to work! And you know what He said to me

GOD: "Priscilla, NO! you need to get married"

Priscilla: "WHAT? I dont need to get married(with attitude)..why do i need to get married?"

GOD: "B/C you need to have sex"

Priscilla: (OUTBURST) hahahahahahahhahahahahha

GOD: "uuhhhh yeah i created it and it is great, and you are driving me nuts with your hormones"

Priscilla: " yeah i guess you are right..hahhahahahhaaa"

yeah that was one of my many conversations with God!