Here we go again?

Well, so much is going on! So many emotions that are running through me! So I say to my self " Here we go again" and I ask myself this question "Can you handle it?" " Will your heart be right?" " How will you be?" ...... And so badly I want to say yea with ease and be excited with so much emotions of joy and happiness! Will I in the end sure but with much hurt and pain! The question isnt really am I happy for them, because of course I am! They are getting something everyone wants in life, it really has to do with me, question? when is it my turn?

Mallory has just started dating this guy and they are gonna get married, he told her last night that he wanted to talk to her dad! And we all know what that means! I am really excited for her, but this will be the 4th good friend this year that is getting married and I am left alone or so it seems! Here we go again, I make friends, that are amazing and fun, and then bam here comes a man and then here I am left with no friends! I know that isnt true,I still have my friends but so much changes and that is great but, when it happens all around you and not to you, you begin to think what is wrong with me? Do I have a huge harry issue that no one is telling me about? It can be hurtful, and not that they are hurting you, but it hurts when they are getting what you want, and you arent! I know that God is good, I know that He is faithful! And I know that I should look at this situation and be ever so hopeful, and be like yes! It can happen to me, but let's be honest that is not the first thing I think, I cry and become an emotional wreck and say to myself, GOD IS GOOD, GOD IS GOOD, repeatedly with tears of hurt and pain, just knowing that God is good and He is faithful no matter what is looks like! Even though at that moment it doesnt feel like it, or look like it! I know that in my pain God is Good, and that He is faithful and I can rest assured on that! I can rest in the truth that God is Good and that He doesnt know how to be anything other than what He is and that is Good, and Faithful! Knowing that, really knowing that, there is hope and there is faith! I believe with every fiber in my being that God is Good and God is faithful!
So " Can I handle this?, will my heart be right?, How will I be?" Well let me tell you....

In my heart, I will rejoice with gladness and it will manifest itself, I will lift up a sacrafice of praise and thanksgiving in my heart that Mallory is happy and God has been faithful to her! I will dance with joy and laugh with those who laugh and mourn with those who mourn! I can handle this, not b/c I am strong or have a good heart but because I know that God is Good, and that is the only thing I can trust, that he is faithful and He is good! I can trust that He is God and He is the very best at being God! That is how I will handle this, how I will be and how my heart will be! Even when I dont want to! I will share a delightful heart with my friend! I will not be selfish and I will love with my heart at risk! I am excited for her!

I AM EXCITED FOR HER, CONGRATULATIONS MALLORY! I LOVE YOU!

believe

so what is it really about? we know what is it is about Love and Believing that God is good all the time. That He is faithful...no matter what it looks like. GOD IS GOOD! Today Mal and I had a little bit of uuummmmm....well i dont know what I would call it but something happened! I still believe! I still believe that God is good and even if we try to bury, kill, and destroy something from Him it doesnt work very well and it will kill you and destroy you to do so, believing is from Him! Hoping, having faith is from Him. He is our source and life is our target. He is our source of faith, not people, He is our source of hope, and Love not people and although we know this, it is a good reminder! you know I will believe anything God tells me, I will have faith forever and I would die for believing! I just wanna know what everyone wants to know is it really God? Did God really tell me that? Was that God or a coincidence? Was that a sign from Jesus or am I making that up? But what I have come to believe is that if it isnt God, God is big enough to let me know that it isnt Him! And He will, He is good, He is faithful and He wants us to hear and follow Him as much as we do, actually even more! So do I believe? heck yes I do, if I dont or if you dont my question is Why are you alive then? why were you put here? I am convinced if for no other reason just to have faith and believe that God is God and He is good and faihtful. My purpose: to love God and believe that He is good all the time, that through any circumstance He is good, when things look shitty and dull, He is still good! HE IS GOOD! HE IS GOOD! HE IS GOOD! If I dont believe, then I am nothing, I have nothing to live for, I believe that Love conquers all, that Love never fails, that it has to change things, things cant stay the same when love walks in the room, that love endures all things and hopes for all things, it trusts all things and believes in all things, I believe that God is God and is the very best at being GOD!

I BELIEVE!!!!

I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE, I BELIEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Do you?

you think Im sexy...

Sugar
Sugar
mmm ... ooh

She sits alone waiting for suggestions
He's so nervous avoiding all her questions
His lips are dry, her heart is gently pounding
Don't you just know exactly what they're thinking?

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so

He's acting shy looking for an answer
Come on, honey, let's spend the night together
Now hold on a minute before we go much further
Give me a dime so I can phone my mother
They catch a cab to his high rise apartment
At last he can tell her exactly what his heart meant

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so

His heart's beating like a drum
'Cause at last he's got his girl home
Relax, baby, now we are alone

[break]

They wake at dawn 'cause all the birds are singing
Two total strangers but that ain't what they're thinking
Outside it's cold, misty and it's raining
They got each other, neither one's complaining
He say's I'm sorry but I'm out of milk and coffee
Never mind, sugar, we can watch the early movie

If you want my body and you think I'm sexy
Come on, sugar, let me know
If you really need me just reach out and touch me
Come on, honey, tell me so
Tell me so, baby

treasures

Today as I was driving through a village of small towns I realized how much I loved small towns! There is something, a feeling I get when I am in them, a sense of value, tradition, and family that we miss in bigger cities! All the noise, busyness of life and chaos we tend to forget about what really is treasureable! Small towns have history, stories to tell and many secrets! Just go and ask the people living in them, I am sure they could sit you down and tell you amazing stories! Everyone knows who you are and all your business and although that could be nerve racking, small town people are also there for you when you need something, to lend a helping hand! So I guess we take the bad with the good! It is like that in anything I guess! We sign up for something, and take the bad with the good...we look for the treasure in things...looking for the gold! It is there we just have to train our eyes to see it! And we will! There is history and value in everything! I like old small towns and traditions! It makes me happy, change is good but sometimes things should stay the same! I like the sense of caring and love that you get from a small town! I like big cities, but I think we should go to small towns often to see what we are missing! And try to incorporate it with the big city life. In all of that it makes me really miss Redding! I miss it so bad tonight, I miss the sense of family that I had there, the safety of it all! I like risk but stability is also nice and I like the sense of stability I had from a family! I miss the Silks so much it hurts! All of my love to my family!

so what is it all about....????

I know that I have talked alot about this in the past and I will not apologize b/c it is my life...the way I want to live it! It is all about Love! Life is about living to the fullest, the most adventuresome, and fun in love! Now that brings so many different things about because even in all the fun, adventure, and living to the fullest thier will still be hurt, sadness, and hard times! that doesnt mean that we focus on the bad it just means we know that even in the midst of things we can find joy, happiness and love! You see LOVE is worth it, it is worth the risk of everything we have to offer, knowing we could lose it all! What is the worth of something if their isnt a risk that you could lose it! If you lost something and did not miss it, its worth isnt that much...it doesnt have value! But if you risk something that has alot of value...well hhhmmmmm! think about that! I hope I made that clear! Love is so valuable and is worth risking yourself, giving all of yourself to people...nothing more and nothing less! Why do we make it so hard? Why are we so scared? So what everyone has crap..everyone does and says dumb things! We make mistakes...that is ok...as long as when they are brought up we are willing to do what it takes to change! No biggie right..pretty simple to me but the human race seems to make it so much bigger that what it is! You see my God is sooooo freakin big! He is the One that actually created the universe...master and creator! Yeap that is right so he can fix any dumb thing I say and do! He really likes to do that...He is big into restoration and healing! Not that I purposefully go around to do that but you get me! You know Love never fails! It is always there...Love has never left anyone of us! It stays with us! Can u believe that...it goes eveywhere you go! It lives and breathes inside of you..it is just waiting to be let out...to be set free...to have an open window in our lives! That Love rules and reigns the way you think! You see God is Love...Love is God! Love has to be the motive from which we do everything, the way we precieve people, the way we view ourselves, the way we do life! It is all about one name.....LOVE..which is GOD!

Papa I wanna be Love, I wanna see life and people the way u see them! I need more of this love stuff! I wanna know the more of your love for me, I give you permission to whack me with so much love that it is ridiculous! I just want MORE!

backstreet boys are yummy...

so right now I am listening to the backstreet boys....I had forgotten how much I loved them! uuummm Mal has just had an unexpectd phone call from Norberto! eeeewwww! Anyways, back to the important things...Backstreet Boys!

1. they make you feel like your life should be a movie...well actually is one!

2. they can sing...like freakin amazing...as long as you love me

3. loneliness...you dont really feel it with them around!

4. they make you feel larger than life

5. they dont care who you are...as long as you love them

6. they dont want to show u the meaning of being lonely

7. they quit playing games with your heart...they are real

8. they want to turn back time...Cher....really they just enjoy being with you

9. they live their life the way to keep us coming back to them

10. the love we have is so strong....

11. they would walk a thousand miles...and their gifts come from the heart

12. and finally, but definely not the least....their love is all they have to give along with their kisses and dont leave when I need them the most and pray for the day that I will be thiers!

just a simple push of a button anytime and thier they are! Always when I need them...I have a real man...or men...who love me! Wanting to give the world to me! I love it...I feel so loved right now!

friends...what does that mean?

Well the continuation of confronting my friend and knowing what "friends" means! He ended up calling me and actually apologizing for being hurtful...and not realizing that he was being hurtful. So I said that I forgave him and really that was all I wanted! But that if I knew that he thought our friendship was seasonal I would have never invested time into him, because I thought this was a friendship that was going to last for years...and my question to him was that did he really think that our friendship was seasonal...does he really believe that? b/c back in march he told me that he knew that our relationship was from the Lord....so what happened from then to now and does he really believe what he just said? And then he proceeded to tell me that he cant have relationships here in nashville with people(being close to them)b/c he is living in another city and it was ridiculous to think that it could be that way! Which is understandable, but I said he then needed to communicate that and I didnt understand how it could go from "you fill a void in my life, come down here and visit" to the very next week not calling me or returning phone calls! That just doesnt make sense to me! But he made it very clear yesterday that he didnt want any type of committal relationship on any level! And that he still wanted it on his terms and that ya know that is just not going to work for me! I am not angry, hurt, sad, or have any negative emotion towards him at all. But completely feel a release from that friendship and know that I deserve better than that! I dont want someone in my life that isnt loyal or is not even willing to be or reconsider that what is going on with them and how they act effects others and is not even willing to compromise on any level! I want friends who see value on our friendship and are willing to do what it takes to be a great friend! what ever it looks like! Maybe I am asking to much, but i dont think so b/c I dont feel like I give anything less than all of myself to my friends and the people that I love!

Friends are the people that shape your life, that help you when times are rough, or laugh with you when you are an idiot, friends are people who tell you not to eat that oreo shake b/c you need to cut back on the sugar if ya know what I mean...friends are honest at all times, love you when you are not being so loveable, friends are the people who push you futher in Jesus, who make you want to give all of yourself b/c you know how it feels to be really loved b/c they love you, friends are the ones who wont let you comppromise on a guy, b/c you desreve better the very best, friends are the people who help make who you are,friends are family!

I want smeone to be my friend who has the same value on people...b/c really that is what it is! Friends..true friendship is about love and loving selflessly! And I think that scares some people (i.e. that guy)...loving someone, a friend or anyone, for that matter, really loving them, knowing that it requires something of you, that their is risk involved, it is scary to alot of people and I want someone who thinks that it is worth it on any level! I want a friend that has a mentality that thinks " I will risk it all for this one" " I will love this person with everything that I am to change my life and thiers" " they are worth it, I dont know what it looks like but I know that it is about love and you cant go wrong when you love someone b/c love never fails" Love changes everything, it has to, it cannot stay the same, Love is what is all about" This life is about loving, loving someone without motive or needing acknowledgement that you are doing it, it is just about Love. Are we willing to just love? to just love, to just love, to just love! Are we willing to put ourselves on the line to Love? Risk it all to love! lets do it! Lets live our life for one purpose and that is to live to Love!

"the greatest thing you will ever know is to love and be loved in return"

hurtful things of the day....

so I confronted a "friend" today on somethings that have been happening between us and it ended up being a little more hurtful than I expected! I started out by saying that I was sorry for placing judgements on him about his intentions about our friendship! He said ok that he excepted and forgave me! And then proceeded to ask me if there was any confronting that needed to take place....and I proceeded to tell him yes and tell him that I felt hurt and he just sat there saying that some friendships are seasonal...basically saying that I use to place value on you and now I dont! WOW! not what I expected!He didnt even apologize...not even a sorry I hurt you or that you feel that way! I dont know that we ever really had a friendship...more lke a spring flingshit! Here I was investing in a friendship that i thought would last for years and I look back and see that I have wasted a part of me! nine months...wow that makes my eyes tear up! something that I thought was mutual, fun, exciting, enjoyable, and had placed alot of value on has turned out like this! That is sad not just for him but me too! I deserve to be treated better and he is better than what he has treated me! There is gold in him I have seen it and see it, he just isnt letting it shine right now and that is a bummer for him! He is missing out on a great friend! I would have been one of the greatest friends to him! would make him laugh alot and pushed him further in the Lord and show him how to live life like he has never before dreamed! I am amazing...to bad he never saw it! oh well such is life....live and learn right? right! forgive and move on! I want to walk in forgiveness and love...vent about it and move on! Love people even when hurtful things are done to you! I want to be love! I want to always extend love even when I dont feel like it! It really is all about love! I want to ooze love! so with all those things said....I still love him like Papa does! I actually feel bad for him! He needs to know more of Papa's love! so I hope that I can extend that to him! And show love even when he is not! Be love and compassion...I think he is hurting....one of those people who dont how do live in thier heart! But one day he will know how and it will change his life! I hope that day is soon for his sake...then he will be free!

randoms of today...

Today was very uneventful....

1. I got up made coffee...drank coffee...it was pretty good

2. I went to grocery store...bought groceries

3. came home and put away groceries

4. made amazing soup if I do say so myself.

5. have done nothing else all day long....sat on my ass...I didnt work today....obviously!

Things that make me happy.....

a sonic blast with extra oreos

CSI...which is on tonight

great music..like Eva Cassidy...Josh Groban...Jason Upton..to name a few

the smell of clean clothes....downy simple pleasures...vanilla and lavendar

a cup of Joe with a good friend...in a cute mug

Quotes of the day:

I like things hard
(mallory trying to explain to me she likes things frozen)

why are they called windshield wipers?
(priscilla being Priscilla)

dont ever make fun of jessica simpson
(mallory commenting to priscilla after the one above)

ok ok ok....

so I re-read my blog this morning and was like WOW! I must have really been mad! But Jesus came and calmed the storm that brewing in me! I am all better and no one was hurt! But all is well, I have so much peace especially compard to last night! I was really gonna hurt someone......but luckily Holy Spirit intervened which He does so well!


On other news.... I moved in with my friend Mallory, which is nice b/c now I have a place to put my clothes and not in a suitcase! that is nice! I also finished a projet I started in Feb. And it turned out wonderful I must say! I am in a perfect place to really just focus on more of the Lord which I need in a bad way! I need so much more of Him than what I have now!

I need Him, I want Him
to be around Him, to see Him
hold His hand, walking bare foot in the sand
I say I love you He says me too
His eyes, His gaze
flames of love that burn a blaze
please dont leave me, please stay here
you keep me warm, you are a safe place
stay here, let me look at your face
let me see your beauty
let me see your heart
lets never grow apart
come closer, closer, closer still
dance with me
dance with me til the sun comes up
sing to me
love me
please just be with me
I need you, I want you
to be around you, to see you for always

F---KIN A--HOLE!!!!!

YES that would be me cursing up a storm! Im pissed, no, I'm f--kin mad! you know people are unmistakeable strange! I love Jesus but I'm so mad right now, I could fight! ijust wanna hit the hell out of something right now! I haven't felt rage like this oooo in lets day years! WOW!!! crazy! and of course it is about a friend who really doesn't treat me like friend, I really dont know what it would be then! But I made the decision to not be friends with him unless there is some apology or something! cause it cant stay the way it is! I am worth way more than that! well the saga will not continue, that is the end of this story!

well what is it?

am I aren't I? that is the question? am I over it? or not? well I said that I dont like rollercoasters but it seems that I am constantly on one huh? oh well at least there are moments in life when my breathe is taken away! can't beat that huh? fun all the time.......NOT! well Im about to go to the good ol' bucks and meet some friends! soooooo laters.... more on that subject later!!!!

im done..farewell

ok so im done! If im not over it I will be soon! I can't wait anymore and it is obvious that this person doesn't like me or they would have done something about it by now! friends you say, what is friends? b/c I dont think this person knows the meaning of it! He is absolutely wonderful, totally cool, loves Jesus but obviously isn't for me in any way, not even friends! this was my decision, because I can't pretend that I dont like him and he made it quite obvious that we cant be friends! I was fine with being friends not expecting anything, and then wala he says stuff that freaks himself out and only speaks to me on his terms and that is not a friendship! I love rollercoasters but, not when it comes to my heart! It is partly my fault I would say b/c he did tell me that he didn't liked me, but then woud say crazy stuff that didn't add up to his "not liking me"! He is amazing but just a little unsure about himself I would guess! So I hope he has a great life and succeeds in all he does and has lots of freedom and joy in his life! it is kinda sad really b/c we have such a great time together connect on all sorts of levels and just really enjoy each other so it seemed but I guess I was wrong! Maybe I was only seeing what I wanted to see! Well that has all changed! So goodbye, farewell, sianara, arevadurche, chow, .......I spelled all those wrong but you get my point! It made me laugh, I guess it doesn't take much anyways, Im glad that joy is one of the strongest things in my life! I love Jesus so much, He really is my love!

see ya, see ya
Pris

aaaarrrgggghhhhh....

ok so what the hell is up with our frekin weather? It is about to piss me off uuhhhh to late I already am! cold, hot, hot, cold! It needs to make up its mind! like many of us! Anyways, today I was suppose to work at MAC but they called and sked me to switch and work saturday so Saturday I work from 4 to 9:30! Yes that will be fun, no really I am serious, plus on Saturday I have my nephew Jacksons b-day party to go to at the park if weather permits! which at this point we aren't sure! Anyways, I also watched the other little baby today! Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays! An easy 150 bucks! I basically just sit there! He sleeps for like 3.5 hours of the time I am there and then she feeds him and then I read him books and talk to him or he watchs his videos! so it is really quite a cake job! It is a nice paycheck! Anyways, not much is happening, well actually tons is happening! Mallory and I might really be moving to London! We are goin in December! Someone is paying for the trip! so if things aren't different by May we are gone, outta here, sianara, see ya later, take a hike, o that would be you not us but you get the point! So we will see what happens! There is so much that is happening I am sure things will be different and we wont go! But it is fun to imagine!!!! well that is it for now...

did I ever mention that I love spongebob square pants! I love that cartoon!

weird things happen to me

Ok so I went to look at this place today and of course I always get weird men attracted to me! This guy which would have been my landlord, is checking me out and not using discretion at all! you would have thought I was naked, and I would have like to been b/c it was so nice outside, but not in front of him! He really wanted me to live there, it was on his property by his house in the middle of nowhere, which I thought would have been nice b/c he has horses which I love and use to ride so it seemed ideal but he was a pervert, it wasn't pertruding off of him but it was one of the subtle ones, those are the ones you should worry about! anyways, I think it was a God thing b/c other people were out there and he got the days mixed up thinking I was coming tomorrow which no one would have been out there! And it is far out there! No one would have heard me scream! there is more weirdness but not to write about, that was my day!

well part of it, I really want to see Danny and Sheri right now! I love them and just want a great big pop and mom hugs! I love them tons. MY niece and nephew are here and it is fun being around them b/c I am the cool aunt! They absolutely love me and I them! Who knew you could love a child so much! It was a surprise to me! well other weird things happen to me like weird thing number two:

I was in the grocery store with Mallory and we asked this guy where the hummus was and he brought us to it and then proceeded to rub my leg and boot and start to tell me that it made him think of "the shining" etc... and then I just stare at him with this look like what the hell are you doing rubbing my freakin leg? And then I ask him who are you? and he thinking I am serious about wanting to know who he is, trys to tell me in the meanwhile Mallory is laughing hysterically! Yeah it was pretty funny! But super weird!

ok there are more but I am done typing seeing how I dont type that well in the first place!!!!

all I want too!

This is my friend Mallory but it seemed I was reading my heart...so much so that I had to copy it here so people can read what is truth!!!! good one mal!


I want to be fertile soil, willing and wanting to receive all He has...but to be honest, I'm not after the power. I'm not after walking with ridiculous amounts of annointing...because even though Jesus walked with them, you can walk in power and anointing but not look, smell, or feel anything like Jesus...but I'm after the heart of God. I'm after living in such an intimate place in the heart of my daddy that I can't move, think, sleep, or dream away from His heart...and when I am in that place, the power and annointing follows...

I've lived in a land where revival is flowing like milk and honey...people are getting saved, healed and delivered by the hundreds...and its awesome. But what amazes me more and completely wrecks me for life...is watching lives change as they receive the revelation of the love and goodness of God. They choose to BELIEVE and walk in FAITH--and heaven resides on Earth.

I am after ONE THING: to live in such an intimate place with my daddy that His heart overflows through mine in every moment, allowing his love and goodness to flow through my veins and into the atmosphere.

I want this revelation of the "now" to continue to change my life...I do not want to live off of "high" from testimonies of what happened yesterday and the hopes of what could happen tomorrow....I want to live IN the present, finding the Jesus in every moment, knowing the reality of WHO HE IS and WHAT HE IS DOING.

Do I know the key to revival???? Yes, I do. The key to revival is KNOWING the NOW.

the season is ridiculous

oh my goodness! It was 77 degrees today in the beginning of November! It is beautiful but I am ready for winter to come and go like lots of other things in my life! Tomorrow it is suppose to be 80! What is this crazy weather we are having? Something is happening, in the spirit and it is manifesting itself in the natural! I had a dream last night about a huge eathquake that hit california and it was the biggest earthquake that has ever hit and it killed lots of people! Anywho, that is all I have to say right now!

o, besides the fact that I love my freakin job at MAC! I love it, it so fits me and i get tons of free makeup, that is awesome b/c I have litterally invested $$$$ of money into my makeup, crazy you say but it is the only thing I will really obsess about!

well laters...

my last entry...

Ok my last entry called "proximity" was for my friend Mallory! I wrote that song for her! I think it is great and one day will be a one hit wonder! yes that is right Im going into the song writing business! Im just kidding but that song was and is for her and what she is walking through!

I LOVE MY JOB! HAve I told anyone that, I love working at MAC! It is amazing I wish I could work everyday! I love it so much! I dont mind being on my feet that long either! I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT, I LOVE IT!!!! God is so freakin good!

HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD,HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD HE IS GOOD HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD, HE IS GOOD!

GOD IS SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOOOO FREAKIN GOOD!

I love Him! He is good even when life looks like crapola, He is still good! He is freakin amazing!

I LOVE HIM!!!!!

Proximity

Here I am waiting for a friend at a cafe
I was suppose to be married that was this day
here he comes walking in
this has been my greatest friend
we laugh, we cry
we share it all in our eyes
Am I in love? Does he know?
what will happen if I let it show?
sitting here with him, its all fine
I think he sees it in my eyes
what is love?

what is love?
its a boy, its a girl
its emotions in a whirlwind
feeling joy, feeling pain
like your gonna go insane
love is proximity
and there is no remedy
two people of similar kind
at the right place and time
will it work? I don't know
is there anyone who will show us how?
full of love, living now

Here we go again
different time, different day in another cafe
I feel joy, I feel pain
I wanna know does he feel the same?
Is there more , are we just friends
I fight it everyday
wearing my heart on my sleeve
right now I just wanna get up and leave
do I tell him, should he know
aaaahhh forget it I'll let it go
what is love

what is love?
its a boy, its a girl
its emotions in a whirlwind
feeling joy, feeling pain
like your gonna go insane
love is proximity
and there is no remedy
two people of similar kind
at the right place and time
will it work? I don't know
is there anyone who will show us how?
full of love, living now

love...

do you hear my slient cry
that seems so loud inside
do you see me in the light or
in the darkest grey of rooms
do you think of me through out the day
and see me in your mind
knowing that one day I'll be a perfect find
do you love with a love so deep
wishing just to watch me sleep
do you love with a love that changes life
a love that you'll someday give your wife

I hear your silent cry
that seems so loud inside
I see it in your eyes
I see your beauty in the light
it shines through into the night
I think of you into space
dreaming of your beautiful face
i'll find you near or far
there is no journey that is to hard
taking me to the stars
i'll love with a love that is the oceans blue
knowing in the end I'll be with you
I'll give you my life
with the hope that you'll be my wife.

I feel alive when Im with you, I feel,
I laugh, I cry, Im alive.
I love that you think Im funny, crazy,
adventurous and like to take risk
you wanna know every part of me
even the ugly in my heart
you dont waver you stay the same
helping me become ever so tame
Im wild, crazy, have been set free
but you add that balance to me
you call me out on all my shit
even in the midst of a crazy fit
I love the way you love me, never changing
your love makes me love you more,and more
there is no one else I could adore
I've never known a love like this
I love you so much you will never know
but then you are God who created me before birth
and brought into this earth
knowing all before the start of time
you knew that I'd love you and you chose me
making love my destiny

Living...

November is here! I love November it has the potential for bueatiful days and cold nights! A nice fire and roasting marshmellows on an open fire somewhere out in the middle of nowhere with a guitar and a few good friends worshiping Jesus! I like the sound of it! Having moments with Jesus, living in the NOW! Ya know I think we miss Jesus so much! SO many times we are looking for the glory cloud in the sky and we miss what He is doing right NOW in the moment! You know that is the enemies tactic, DISTRACTION! If He can get us thinking about tomorrow, and how He is gonna show up tomorrow, then we have forgotten about today, what He is doing in the moment of NOW!

Recognizing the beauty in the clouds, flowers, trees, the relationships you have right NOW, how you can effect your world around you right now! What is He doing right NOW? Are we willing to see it, what is already done! Make sure today is the day that you live in today! Live in today, Live where you are! Where ever that may be, live there! Because Jesus is there where ever you are! Live in the NOW!!!!!