Believing

There is something about coming into agreement with the spiritual realm, what God is doing right NOW! Ya know the enemy can't win! It has already happened in the spirit, it is already done! but he can delay, but we can counteract the delaying by coming into agreement and speaking the truth out into the atmosphere! When we believe, have faith it counteracts the enemies plans! you can never believe to much, we can never have to much faith! Hope is good but faith is better! hope is the seed for faith and faith produces fruit! Coming into agreement with the heaven is so crucial to out belief system! to our theology, to the way we live our lives and the way we think! Thinking like heaven! When we have heavens mindset, we have the kingdoms footsteps! We walk like the kingdom of God we talk and smell like heaven!

aaaaaahhhhhh I can feel heaven even NOW! smell it, taste it! It is NOW! Knowing that it is NOW! It is NOW!
NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW NOW
HE IS GOOD, HIS NAME IS HOLY, GREAT, GOODNESS, FAITHFUL!
HOW GREAT IS HIS NAME, HOW GREAT IS HIS NAME, SPEAK IT OUT, HOW GREAT IS NAME! SO GREAT, SO GREAT ,SO GREAT, SO GREAT, SO GREAT ,SO GREAT, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!!!

HE IS SO AMAZING, GREAT, HOLY IS HIS NAME, HE IS SO FAITHFUL!!!

HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL HE IS FAITHFUL
He doesn't know how to be anything other than what He is! Good, and Faithful! When we step into agreement with the promises of heaven there is fruit! It will manifest in the natural, it has to, it doesn't have any other choice! The timing is right now! Not tomorrow, but NOW!

THE ENEMY CANNOT DELAY THE PLANS OF THE FATHER ANYMORE! IT IS NOW!!!IT IS NOW!!! NOW NOW NOW NOW!!!

John 4 says:
why do you say yet we still have 4 more months, look up, turn your eyes to the father, and see that the fields are white for harvest! (paraphrase) It is now! The timing is now! Look up to the Father, see what is already done and see that the timing is now, the timing is now NNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

TTTTTTOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY TODAY! It is TODAY!

Papa, I come into agreement with what you are doing today, right now that it would manifest itself in the natural that the natural would come into agreement with the spiritual realm NOW! Today is the day that you have made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! because it is Now! It is a NOW moment, and I know that it is NOW!

IT IS NOW!

NOW!

I wanna..

I wanna burn for Him, to burn with a passion that is uninhibited,free, wild and crazy! I wanna urn for Him! Only Him, Only Him, my heart is bursting, crying tears that seem filled with passion to love Him more than I have ever loved anyone before! I love Jesus but it is now and only now that I have felt this love for Him that is unadulterated! To love with this much passion and heart! and it not be wrong, to know a love like this. Wow! I don't know how to describe how I love Him! I can feel it through the very cells of my being, every fiber feels it, breathes it in, drinks it in! My body feels the difference with Him in me, how can it be that there is a love like this that we can experience! im satisfied but not, I have to have MORE! I HAVE TO HAVE MORE! I feel like a drug addict! I admit I have an addiction, I really am addicted to Him! His Love is what I am addicted to! how He loves me so freely and perfectly! How He loves to watch me laugh, cry, be crazy, dance, He just loves me...every part of me! HOW? It makes me want Him more! I wanna urn for Him, burn with passion over Him, only Him, only Him Lord I wanna urn!

These last few days, weeks have felt ever increasing of His presence, the intimacy that I am reaching with Him is none I have experienced before! Let my life be just like this even in the midst of chaos,and confusion of where my life is going, or not going being with Him like this is worth it all! I don't have to know anything but, when He has entered the room! That is the only thing I have to know, so I can stop what I am doing and be with Him no matter where it is! I have to know it, I don't want to miss an intimate moment with Him! I can't get enough! Lord I wanna urn for YOU, I wanna burn with passion over YOU, only YOU, only YOU, Lord I wanna burn for YOU!!!

Why do I?

Why do I feel all of a sudden sick! A guy who I do not like or am I attracted to....thinks I am his wife( God told him, but apparently left me out in the mix)! Not very fun! Then I talked to two other guys who want to marry me or me to have thier babies, which niether are going to happen! I don't care how bad I want to have sex! Something is definetly happening!

I want to write more to express what is in my heart! There is so much that I need to just relieve my heart from, but will not right now for the sake of who might be reading this! If it were just my Mumby family, katieann,and Steph, then I wouldn't mind but it is really very personal to me and Im not sure I want to include the rest of the world in on it right now!


Im very numb right now it might be due to the 3 smirnoffs I just downed but Im not sure I think it also my emotions that feel that way! Could it be that LOVE is the most painful and joyful thing you will ever experience, provoking every emotion you have to the extreme! That love has everything to offer but also everything to take away! never knowing where it will take you and scared to go, but knowing you will regret it for the rest of your life if you don't? Love is the extremity of life! It provokes desire, your wants and what you don't want, making you go to the extreme to get what you want and don't want! NOW I know why God picked it to live by! It makes life full of adventure, fun and exciting, sad and strange, feeling every part of your heart...that is LOVE!!! Sometimes not very fun but such is life....

I love Jesus!

knowing

Today I had such a good revelation! I was writing in my journal(not online)! And I was writing, that the timing is NOW! I wrote about it last night...we know what I think about that! But as I was writing that the timing is now Papa said to me, it is in the know, look in the know!

K-NOW, knowing is NOW! It is in the knowing, the NOW is knowing, believing , having faith, standing in what you know!

IT IS NOW....KNOW THAT IT IS NOW!!!!

what we know happens!

what we believe will happen!

hope does not disappoint, we believe in the One that gives us hope! Our hope is in Him!

I LOVE JESUS.......( me yelling) I LOVE JESUS!!!!

So Just KNOW!!!!

NOW

The timing is right NOW!!!! The spirit realm is talking to us, can you hear it? I can and it is saying NOW, NOW, NOW, NOW...

The timing is now for so many things.... but one particular thing...PROMISES! Isasiah 55:8-12,what He says does not return empty and it goes fulfilling what it was sent out to do(paraphrase)! his words, His promises don't return void, don't return empty! It goes and blooms, becomes fulfilled! That is what He is saying, The Spirit of God is going to and fro looking for someone to believe what He is saying! Who will believe in my promises? Who will listen and stand in faith believing what I have told them? Will you take me at My words? knowing that what I have said is Truth! I am truth! He is so good and He can't be anything other than what He is! He doesn't even know how to be anything but FAITHFUL to His promises! Do you believe that the timing is NOW? John 4 talks about how the disciples were saying that they still had 4 more months til harvest but Jesus said, if you look up and turn your eyes toward the father you will see that the fields are white for harvest NOW! Even though it might not look like it, take your place and believe that the timing is NOW! It is right NOW!!!!

Who will believe?

Who will stand in faith?

Who will believe that the timing is NOW?

Who?

WHO?

Simeon

This to Simdigi!

Simdigi, Simdigi where have you gone?
are you at the park, in the house, in the car, why are you very far?
Sometimes you come around, and then disappear
long time since I've heard your voice in my ear!
I've only been around you a couple of times
but you feel like my brother, I hope this ryhmes.
I've talk to you alot on the phone
more than I've seen you or Al Capone!
this is my tribute to my friend
I love you for life, til the very end!
I think you are so funny,
very talented, it will make you money!
You are an excellent person who loves the Lord,
Living for Him to the fullest, you won't get bored!
So stay on this path, don't go to fast
live in the moment and make it last!

Love ya
pcilla

I love Sundays....good nap times

The day is damp,cloudy, and cold! And Im loving it! I never thought those words would ever come out of my mouth but they did! I was tired of the hot and humidity I could have died! I love the sun so I am sure that this will get old soon but for now Im enjoying it to the fullest!

This week is exciting Im going to go riding! I haven't ridden since the spring! It is a favorite past time! I use to ride in horse shows all the time growing up! I love the smell of horses, it is wonderful! Put me in a cowboy hat and I'll be hot to trot! Im excited about that! It is perfect whether for it! Also, my "FRIEND" Mallory gave this guy my number! WHY? I asked, b/c he asked and he is a great guy she said! Well Im not attracted to him and Im sure he is a great guy but Im not interested! Oh well what can it hurt I guess! At least he asked, I guess man enough to do something about it! Oh well!

also we are nominating this family for extreme home makeover and I know they will get it! So today we recorded thier house and information! They don't know about it! I can't wait to see what happens! Don't ask who it is, Im not telling! really don't ask!

Well worship was freakin amazing, Chris got back from Brazil and Davi, from Casa de Davi (he was taken up to heaven at 6 and healed from downs syndrome) and now is one of the most amazing worshippers ever heard! take you straight to heaven! anyways, Chris got an impartation from him and when he was down there Davi told him that he saw anangel giving him a golden guitar! Yeah it sounded like it today! But Chris is always extremely amazing! it was powerful, we got blasted Mallory, Emily and I! It was amazing!

So here is to getting wrecked.....Jesus come and let us drink more of your goodness and love in!

Mallory

Well MAllory this is to you!

Mallory, Mallory where have I been with you!
we been to the mall, went to the zoo, we go to starbucks
and then to the lu!
I've known you since august, it feels like longer!
my life is better and so much stronger!
Im glad you are in myspace and I love your beautiful face!
you are the funny in my life right now,
I've lived with out you I don't see how?
You make me laugh until I cry b/c we just stuffed our
face with a big pizza pie!
you are crazy, fun and adventurous too
I really want your hair, you get the sisscors, and I'll get the glue!
This doesn't make much sense but that's ok
this will be really funny come next May!


I love you tons!
Cila

Emily

Emily o how I love thee let me count the ways!

1. I love you forever
2.I love you b/c you are funny
3. I love you b/c you inspire me to love Jesus more.
4.uuhhhh....you have great sense of fashion
5.you have a sensitive nose to smell
6.b/c your family is crazy
7. I just love you because....

Emily thanks for being in my life. I can't imagine it without you! It was a divine intervention for you to be my friend! Im excited to see where life takes us...Australia, Louisianna,New Zealand.....who knows but I want to go!

Love ya
Cilla

taking a break from the tribute, just briefly...

Ok so this is unbelievable.I really dont understand people sometimes and as hard as I try I dont know that I ever will! I cant really say what Im talking about but if I did you wouldnt understand either! Im pretty sure of it! I dont know what there is to comprehend anyways besides a skitso! I feel like thier is a big roar that wants to come out of me from the pit of my stomach, the very core of who I am! And what would it say! Who am I? And Im thinking I'll tell you who I am.....ok my ADD just kicked in!

I was also thinking about all my friends b/c it is tribute to friends and all the great things they are in my life. Which led me to think if I am great in anyones life? Which left me with the question what do I do that is great? And I thought about it ...... me thinking and I came to this conclusion! I do alot of things really good but there isnt one thing that I am great at! It is kinda sad if you think about it! So what do I want ot be great at? I found this quote in a magazine that I will end with! It is very thought provoking to me, making me wonder where am I not willing to go, what emotions am I not willing to feel!

"when people aren't LIVING THIER DREAMS its b/c of emotions they aren't yet willing to feel, but when they are willing to feel, they will be living thier dreams."

Kayle

Ok so this is my tribute to Kayle!

I think it is more of a tribute to stupidity more than anything! All of my greatest friends have the dumbest moments! And in reality they are the greatest moments that stay with me for eternity!

So here it is! Kayle is freakin amazing and inspires me to love Jesus more! He is such an awesome writer! The way he can put a moment on paper and the words of that moment can change your life forever. It really is a gift! If we had kids they would be geniuses(I hope I spelled that right)hahahaha!

So one of my fondest memories of Kayle is this:

We(Katie, Kayle and myself) were in Sac visiting the anfuso's for the weekend and Kayle had the video camera! It was about 11 o'clock at night and we were walking out to the car to get our bags(I think) the point we were outside at night. And Kayle videoing, while he was walking, missed a step and fell down and on the video when you watch all you see is the moon and then the ground with a background noise of Kayle going aaaaaahhhhhhhh! And Katie and I laughing! We watched that part over and over and over....It is so funny! That weekend was so much fun! I will never forget it! AAAAhhhhhhh so many memories!

I love you Kayle. My heart has so much love for you, I don't know that you will ever know! I miss you and hope to see you again soon! We should never go 3 years again without seeing each other or I will kill you! And that would be the last time I saw you alive and we don't want that! B/C I like seeing alive! Love you tons...

Katieann

Ok so Katieann is such a wonderful friend! Im so amazed at our friendship still! How Papa has put such an amazing person in my life! I love her so much!

There is so much that I could write about as we have been friends for 15 years! All the stories there is to write about would take to long and I don't have much time! so briefly I will tell the story about her being a secret porn star!

One morning when we were in second year and we were living with Jan and Denise, Katieann decides to take a shower! She was smelly! Im laughing so hard I can't type! In the bathroom the shower door was see thru but only if you were outside of it! Inside you couldn't see anything! Well I video taped her and shaving her legs and the mountains from Idaho were having an avalanche if you know what I mean! Yeah she didn't know about it and I had forgotten! And one day we were watching a video of us praying for people on the streets and it was the same video I recorded her! Yeah she was shocked and we laughed b/c it was so funny! She told this story at her wedding so I figured she wouldn't mind me teling it! Yes It was funny and still is! Why is she my friend I don't know! I love her though and all the abnormal things that happen to her! She is my most bestest wonderful friend! That was along time ago and now I am much more mature! Katieann please forgive me? I love you!

my day

So my day was pretty good! It is Sunday, and Jesus showed up today which is pretty usual I don't know why I am so suprised but every time He does I get so excited. My heart is so in love with him. I am so in love with Him.

Yesturday morning I woke up with excruciating pain in my shoulder and felt some what like a pinched nerve shooting all the way through my shoulder on both sides and up thru my neck to my ears! I was in so much pain I was crying! And I can handle pain! This hurt! I had a hottie give me a massage but it was still hurting! I prayed for it got others to pray for it and it was still there! I hate the Devil! He is so stupid! Hello I knew it was an afflicting spirit! It totally showed itself! Anyways, so knowing what I know, I am standing on the fact that I am healed! And that it is an assignment that has no authority and cannot stay! It has to leave! So I got prayed today at church it got somewhat better but as I was leaving the church is when I started to notice a difference! God is so amazing!

Brian preached today and it was good. We are(the church) is at a place where we are to take out place no matter what it looks like! It is always time! The time is now! When we look up and see that the fields are white for harvest, it is time which is right now! It is time! The timing is now! Right now! Now in the name of Jesus! Right now! I am listening to Anthony and I love it! He and his wife Mary Keith aare in town it was good to see them. They sat next to me, I absolutely love them! I am going to go and spend some time with them. He sang this awesome song today, it was beautiful.

I feel like I am suppose to do something tomorrow and I can't remember what it is! That could be a problem.

Mallory gets back today! I am excited about that! I love my friends. Katieann, Kayle, Emily, Vange, Mal, ect....I am a rich person indeed!

I want to change the world. I want to change the enviroment in which I live, the people around me. I want to infect people with love. I want to make a difference, a person that you can't forget! In a good way! I want more of Jesus, so much more that when I think about it, it makes me cry! My heart hurts for more of Jesus! To be so intimate with Him! I just want more...

emotions are great!

In the last few moments I have been moved with compassion and tears! My heart is breaking and the question is what do we do? Tragedy is happening all over the world and peoples hope is being taken from them! The Tsunami last December, hurricane Katrina and Rita, The Earthquake in Pakistan, floods in California! All of the hundreds of thousands of people that have died or are missing and we know they are probably dead. All around the world it is in front of us and we can't turn a blind eye anymore.

The awesome thing about all of this is that the church (us) has been the one to come to the rescue! Bringing hope, love and life! It has been great and even the media and government is recognizing it for what it is. Eventually the world will turn to us for the need of life, hope and faith. Why? B/C we are the ones that carry it! We carry life(Jesus), hope(Jesus), and faith(Jesus)! We have it all in one. Jesus! I really like that. What can we do, preach the gospel, hand out bibles, tell them to get saved? No! Be the freakin gospel! Live the bible! Love them! Cry with them! Mourn with them! Laugh with them! Live with them! Be the life that they need right now! Be the Jesus that they need to see! Give them a real experience! RAW, totally real, authentic, truth! Be You! Let's love on a deeper level than ever before. Stopping for the one! I know that sounds cleche but really that is what it is about! Loving the one that is front of you right now! It will change a life, which will change another and another and so on...
Let's be real for once! It is our duty, our responsibility to re-present a real love, a real truth, a real Jesus!

I live in the south and everyone here is a" christian" and it pisses me off! If I say shit they all turn around and give me the look! But they go and get drunk every weekend purposefully and then go to church on Sunday and they are "christians" b/c they go to church! You know what if, you don't want to go to church, don't go! Be You! whoever that may be, be it! Because the love we are filled with (Jesus' Love) doesn't change! Love with no strings attached! And I love that, b/c then it frees people up to be themselves! Not phony, or fake! Isn't that awesome! It is beautiful!

Well I've gotta run...I've got to get ready for a Hot date! We are going to the movies! Maybe I will get a little smooch! j/k about the kiss! I've got a hot sexy shirt! I hope that Im hot enough!

a love like that....

Today I was asked if I wanted to do some modeling! HAH! That is funny! Apparently he was looking through a different pair of eyes! I mean come on, am I really model material? I don't think so! Pretty yes! Model no! It was flattering though! He said that he was in the film industry and in the model industry and asked me to do a photoshoot! He probably just thinks he wants to see me naked but he only wants to that with his eyes closed and with all the lights turned off! Which wouldn't happen anyways!

HELLO...I haven't waited 25 years for nothing! At least I hope not! He's not getting any! Im not getting naked and posted everywhere for free! 1 milllion dollars at least! And then the backdrop has to be all black, me painted black except my face and then, then,...thinking....that would be a really cool pphoto shoot! I JUST MIGHT DO IT! An ephiany! DING, the light went on! I found my calling, my destiny!

I am totally KKIIDDDDIIINNNGGG! kidding! Im sure my husband wouldn't like it! Im not married but in the future, Im sure I will be! I hope that he is totally HOT! And I hope my husband wants my body! I hope that he thinks Im so freakin sexy and Hot! Isn't it amazing how God made us wanting that! To be wanted and desired!

It is a constant desire and really it is just to be loved! You know I feel like when I love I love deeply, and I know that people love me and deep but.....I'll stop there!

A longing, Jesus, my longing belongs to Him right now! To be loved like that! And we all know what that is!

Sense of responsibility...

Im coming to the conclusion that the older I get the greater the responsibility there is for life, to create it, protect it, fight for it and live it! What is this suppose to look like! And why is it that the word RESPONSIBILITY seems so scary besides the fact that I capitolized it! Why do people make it sound so bad! It isn't really, it is actually an honor! A priveledge that most do not assume because it is said to be scary! why? what has been driven into our pschye that it is not fun, ugly and unwanted! I was thinking about the responsibility that Jesus calls us to, as a man or a woman!For a man to be that protector, provider,a hero in a imperfect way that is beautiful.And for a woman to be sensitive, soft, delicate but strong believing in that man that he is never a disapointment and that he could never be! Bringing the two worlds together making one and the responsibility to protect that one life together and world. To protect the people that make up that life and world. Bringing the true picture of what responsibility really is....are you ready for this.....LOVE! Love is something that is scary for most people b/c it makes them go deeper than they have been willing to go! Love is for real! Real love makes feelings come up that most people don't allow themselves to feel. There is pain, happiness, sadness, joy, anger, hurt, every emotion we were made with comes with Love! Love is a mixture of them all. If I love, really love, people will see every side of me! The beautiful and the ugly! Most people are never willing to let that show. It resembles weakness to the world.But Love is beautiful, saying I am willing to be vulnerable not for myself but for you. Love entails so much that most people don't want to touch. They don't want to live there. But not living there is denying yourself of who God created you to be. There is where your heart is, where it longs to be loved and to love, to love so deeply that not even death could take it from you. But are we willing to love and live in such a vulnerable place. Do we trust that the God of the universe, master, and creator will protect that vulnerablility? Do we have faith, believe that He will fight for love? He already has and He won! We just have to go there, live there! But there is fear, fear of failure, fear that we will disappoint, that we don't have what it takes, fear we won't meet expectations! Real Love though doesn't do that! Real Love, loves without expectations! Loves with no strings attatched! I love you just the way you are, you don't have to change! All your hurt, sad days, bad days, happy days, fun days, all of your days, I love you! I assume the responsibility for creating, protecting, fighting for and living this life of Love with you. I am committed to, I am responsible for loving you as long as I LIVE! And Living is to Love. My life is dedicated to the responsibility, the priveledge to, the honor of loving you! This Love is Worth it! All of it! I want to live there! I take the responsibility of all that comes with Love!

With all that said the thought of having children myself and not just adopting is very agreeable! it doesn't sound so scary anymore!

IM IN LOVE.....

well ok so I decided that once I am released from here, hopefully by next May (some things Im sure will be different, but if not) Mallory and I are going to move to NY and audition for vagisil,STD, and viagra commericals! In the words of the infamous Mallory "someone's got to do it why not us?" Yes, I agree! I love my friends!

So Mallory is going to NY today and I haven't seen her in almost a week! By the time she gets back it will be 10 days!

O MY GOSH!

MMMAAAALLLLLLLOOOORRRYYYY!!!

that was my cry for her! hahaa!

She is the funny in my life right now! I 've been missing it for sometime! Im glad that I found it! It is super early right now and I just had some chai! mmmmmm...chai, nice and hot soy chai, warming my throat as I walk out into the nice cold crisp air! Talking to Alana I can see my breath making a heart shape.....kidding! But the chai is wonderful!

I want to be funny! Im just not so much.....



So Im learning about wisdom! Learning how to not confront! You see I am a very outspoken person, I know this is hard to believe but its truth! Having Danny and Sheri in my life, I learned that confronting is awesome and not as scary as people think when done in the right way! So thats what I do confront, confront, confront! I even enjoy it at times! But Papa is teaching me to trust Him! I don't have to confront all the time, that if I trust Him, He will do the confronting! So that is what I am learning to do! It is really hard b/c that means that I am not in control of the situation! So I am re-learning that confronting is good, but only at certain times! some things I have to trust that Holy Spirit will get the job done!

So to Holy Spirit....GET ER' DONE!
I thought appropriate since Im in the south.

So trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on you own understanding! Isn't Papa amazing! He often amazes me and it never gets old! His ways are really not our ways! I want them to be so badly though! Im so in love with Him!

IM SO IN LOVE WITH HIM! IM IN LOVE WITH HIM, IM IN LOVE WITH JESUS! to the core of who I am! I love the fact that I couldn't love anyone else as much as I love Him! I love Him! AAAHHHH how my heart is so for Him! I smile at his thoughts for me!
He is so Beautiful!

questions, questions, all my ???????

Well I woke up this morning at 6, and got some kids off to shool! I feel like a mom the last 3 days and didn't get to enjoy the sex of it! This doesn't seem to be fair! Not at all! It's the devil in disguise, well not in disguise at all cuz it isn't fun! And all bad things come from him right? Really I am having fun!

Im wondering what October is going to look like? I felt like I wasn't suppose to go anywhere for the month of October and all these events are taking place that I can't go to! Like going to Brazil, New York, and Louisianna! All of which I could have gone to except I am not suppose to for the sake of obedience! I don't want to get struck by lightning or go to hell! Especially if it smells like the shit I smelled yesturday! So I am to stay the course and stay full of faith that something huge is going to happen this month! Besides it is the new year for Jesus tomorrow! October 12th is the New year for Israel! Cool huh? I know that God will show up, really show up, and I am trying to walk thru walls right now, I haven't actually tried it but I am going to when I believe I can! It is all about Faith! Love and Faith but you get my drift!

So here I go having faith and believing the promise!

Insanity

Shit, shit, shit....the little boy that i watch just shit on the floor and it smells so horrible!!! I will throw up everywhere if I have to clean it up! That is disgusting....nasty smells....I imagine hell would smell like this! I don't want to go! God please forgive me for my profanity! Damn it now their stupid demon posessed cat is..aaaahhhhh

Jesus help me!

A Reigning Question, WHY?

I dont understand? What is there to understand? I dont know that is why Im confused! And really Im not! Im very puzzled? What other words are there to use! I DONT KNOW???

Ok now that I vented for the day, Im all better!

1 Corinthians 2:5
that your faith should not rest on the wisdom of men but on the power of God.

I love Jesus and it is a good thing or I'd be insane!

Today is crazy! aaaahhhhhhh!

I don't have much to say because my mind is going 100 miles an hour right now! Im thinking of my frustration! I need to vent a little more vocally, not by writing it just doesn't have the same effect!

I'VE GOTTA GO!!!! DAMN IT!!!!

really I'm alright

my next life....

I decided that in my next life I will be sex! Since I have never had it but want it so bad and I know it is good because God said it was then why not be it! Then everyone would have great sex, if I were sex! We would just have to make it holy all the time, there would be no unwanted sex, and not because you are tired because you wouldn't have that excuse because it would always be great! But no rapes, or molesting, you know sick stuff like that! No, it would be great because I would be it! I would be worn the heck out! Ok I wouldn't be a person having sex with everyone, I would actually be it! Ok this is kinda gross! I'll stop there....God is good amen!


So the last few days have been great here! It has felt like fall! I love it! Except for the fact that I don't have any fall clothes or winter clothes! This could be sad! Because I hate being cold! But I really like it right now!

So I am waiting for a certain person to call me and they haven't! I am very sad, but not really! I am giving them some space, but I really want to talk! Because I love talking to them, I laugh and have a great time, what a good friend they have been but I don't know what is going on right now? I though we were great friends but right now it doesn't seem like it! O, well God is in control! And that is a good thing!

I love Life, isn't it adventurous!!! Isn't full of great surprises? Isn't it wondeful to live in the moment of what God is doing now? right now in our lives? take a moment to step back and live in the moment right now and see what God is doing! It is good!

Anything and everything is possible....

Well I am off to go change my tags on my car over to tennessee! After a year and 4 months I am finally making it a priority! I love my california tags! I changed my liscense already, and the picture is great! Oh and i figured out how to post links! I got smart! Im so excited! Anyways, my day is filled with little nothings but I look hot doing it! Im waiting for something big to happen and in the meantime I am trying to get more of Jesus!

I went to visit our old stomping ground Diaryland and read stephs diary it made me sad! It is the end of something and it mad me kinda sad! Not just the end to Diaryland but to that part of our life. mmmmm, go read hers and you will see!

Kayle, I love you tons! I saw the picture of you and mommy dearest and I wanted to hug you and when I tried my head hit the screen pretty hard, I thought maybe if I believed hard enough I could be transported thru the screen yeah, it didn't work! Stupid screen! I was remembering when we were in san fran and i danced with the draq queen! And how you have it on video laughing cuz you knew she was and I didn't! yeah I need to find that video it was funny!

ok memory land is done for now! gotta run.......those dots are me running!

Random love...

Well my week has been crazy watching kids! But it has been fun! I dropped them off at the airport tonight! I have her lexus which is awesome! She lets me drive it all the time! I love that frekin car! It so fits me, I look so hot in it!

JESUS is so awesome! I love him tons! Man and to think he loves me more! that is so crazy to think about but true!

Mallory and Lauren are coming over to hang out tonight! And I am going to watch CSI! I have tv for two days, so I can watch CSI! I love that show!

Something is happening, right now! There has been a shift! Every time He moves His eyes something is happening, everytime He moves His face something happens! He is absolutely amazing and totally for us! WOW! What an amazing God I serve!

I love him!

Ci`la

something old and something new.....

Well today is kind of exciting! I get to see a person I haven't seen o in about 6 years! I am way excited! Hie name is Dave Spring! He was one of my old youth pastors! They moved away to New Zealand to do missions work! So it has been a long time and way over due! I am excited! I am meeting him at 11:15.

It sems lately that I am so hungry for more of Jesus in a new way! I don't know how to explain it but it is so awesome! And it isn't hyped, I feel very calm and peaceful but so excited at the same time and I haven't been able to put my finger on it! I just need more! I want to love more, to have the revelation of love more! A deeper revelation! I want it so bad I can taste it, feel it! Heidi Baker prayed for me about 2 years ago, but I need her to pray for me again! It is time for a new wave!

God is doing something, even now! This is the season for our old to become new!

Wonderful ways to say your name...

Well I actually decided not to take he job as a bartender! I just felt like I wouldn't be there very long and that wasn't fair to them. So I am working MAC and nanny! I have recently downloaded the CD "Simple" by Suzy Wills and I love it! And The Lord has recently put an amazing friend in my life her name is Mallory! It's weird, it's like we are Kindreds! This CD is heaven I am getting wrecked by it! I love it, I need so much more of God in my life. He is teaching me so much about going 40 miles an hour instead of 90! It seems like I am finally getting this lesson! It has taken at least the last two years of my life. I realized i had been going around the same mountain! this looks familiar I would say, Oh b'cuz I have been here it was just a different season. But it is time to move on to a different mountain! I am almost done with this stretch I think at least! we will see!

Mallory is freakin amazing! I absolutely love her! We have so much fun together and get blasted in Jesus! Being around her makes my hunger for Jesus more! She is a giant killer in my life! and I want to be a giant killer so we hang out! I am very blessed! October is HUGE! It is the new year for the hebrew-jewish culture! We are stepping into a season of seeing the fruit of our faith and seeing the fruit of the promises of God! This next season for God is huge! It is harvest time! Out faith is the most precious thing we have. Paul said we would fight the good fight of faith and there has been a fight but we are about to see the fruit of it I know it! Have faith, believe and don't give up, fight the good fight of faith! That is the only fight we have! Man if the enemy can take that from us then he has defeated us! But if we believe, if we have Faith then we have won! So keep believing, we can never have to much faith! You can never believe to much! Keep moving forward in faith! You will see the fruit of it!

Jesus is teaching me about this, perserverance, endurance and 40 miles an hour!

A quick note....
A couple of years ago on the coast at Jesus in the Park, Katie and I met these guys in a band (Bleach) and didn't realize it but anyways, we were joking around with them and being goofy like always! Well I talked to one of them last night, not realizing it! Anywho it was cool, small world!

pcilla